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Genre Study: Horror and Magical Realism

Horror and magical realism are my favorite genres to blend. My first published attempt at doing this is my horror short “Autonomy Bleeds Black” where pain and power manifested into elemental forces. One of my favorite magical realism works is Pan’s Labyrinth directed by Guillermo Del Toro. I’m a huge fan of Del Toro’s and am grateful that Pan’s Labyrinth was my introduction to him. In interviews, he’s described this film to be very personal as someone who lived under strict and religious conditions, but used fantasy works and other genres to escape. Often our escapes become reflections of our inner world and help us interpret what’s going on within us subconsciously and consciously.

…These genres are mirrors, but for their effectiveness to withstand any resistance to our personal revelations, we writers have to hook the audience in with familiarity and give them the illusion of control.

Holding high standards for ourselves eventually lead to us saying somthing along the lines of, “I’m just not good enough.” I just wrote about that in my VPD. I’m so sick of those thoughts. They make me angry, not at myself, but I do go down memory lane and remember what led to me being this way towards myself and others sometimes.

Forgiveness is overrated and underrated. It’s the most bittersweet thing we can give ourselves and we can practice doing that more often by recognizing and accepting our flaws. Additionally, we can remember that accepting our flaws doesn’t mean our flaws define us entirely.

My VPD I’m posting on Vocal today is about transitioning from being a confident editor who’s really good at brainstorming to an anxious writer being too hard on themselves. I’m going to challenge myself today, and if you’d like to join me as a fellow perfectionist go ahead, to direct my inner critic solely on the story and not let it branch off into other territory such as my identity, intelligence, or anything else that’s personal. The goal with the second draft is to refine the story and just do my best as a hardworking and vulnerable writer. I treasure my vulnerability. I treasure my flaws. If I were talking to a friend, I wouldn’t want them to be down on themselves because of mistakes they made while working on their life’s passion. Recognizing areas that need improvement is better than being delusional. I’m going to trust myself to do better and be better without tearing myself down.

To The Writer Ashamed of Resting

It doesn’t matter how old you are, fellow writer. You are in charge of your life and one of the ways you take charge is through writing, self-expression, analysis, arguments, or storytelling. You are the one who decided that writing is an essential part of your lifestyle, so why aren’t you living in a way to ensure that writing remains a priority? Beating yourself up over a rest day during an entire week of work is preventing you from living like a writer. Like I said, you’re in charge, so when you decide to overwork yourself, you’re also deciding to sabotage yourself. You do this because you’re ashamed, afraid, and guilty, but I want you to remember that when you’re in those flow moments, where you’re just inspired to write and the words just come, that is when you’re dignified, fearless, creating without regret.

It’s strange that there are so many people out there who offer tips and tutorials about writing, myself included, and often forget that writing is an art and art is the language of the soul. Since no soul is perfect, there is a perseveration in the writing community over great writing techniques and all we wish to do is take that to heart and sharpen our craft, but I want to propose, or rather remind those who may have forgotten, that we never ignore our imperfections and remember that they are the guiding force to our artistic spirit. A writer’s vulnerability builds a successful career with ease.

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This is another one of those “just me” posts. I need to express something that is incredibly important. When it comes to manifesting the life you want, you don’t reach your full manifesting potential when you treat it like a part-time job. This is hard to admit because right now I’m torn between this job, which is blogging/writing/making music professionally and my current part-time where I work with those with autism and developmental disabilities. I absolutely love every client I work with and I learn something new from all of them. I’m really not the kind of person to half-ass a job or anything, really. With that being said, I’m noticing the majority of my energy is going into the part-time job leaving me with little energy after that shift to work on this job.

And when I try to express this to others, I often get asked “Well, why don’t you just work on your dream job on your days off or the weekends?” Because the energy needed for my dream job keeps going to the other job throughout the week and I deserve rest days (I know angst inspires art sometimes, but really…). In a perfect world, I can balance the dream job and the part-time with the same amount of energy. We don’t live in a perfect world, my dream job suffers, the part-time still takes demand. Through my own meditations, I have learned enough about pouring your energy into too many things and being left empty. The power to manifest requires having the power to persist and believe. Yes, my part-time job is helping me provide for things such as transportation and bills, but I know for a fact that if depression and strong suicidal ideation didn’t convince me my dream job wasn’t worth anything, I would be providing for myself. What I’m manifesting, I’ve done before. I’ve seen for myself that it works, but I’m letting things, like this job and other fears, pull me away.

Part-time dreaming doesn’t work. It may pay the bills and it may be one of the most wonderful jobs I’ve ever had, but it’s not the career path I’ve chosen for myself. If anything, I know my career can bring in so much abundance, that I will be able to invest in the progress of this current part-time job more than I have already. I want to donate and give to other charities to, like environmental protection. I want to make a living as the artist that I am and excel to a platform of philanthropy. I’m not going to be able to do that with a part-time attitude. My part-time dreaming is going to be a full-time reality.

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Insecurity is a radical notion from the most defensive and protective parts of ourselves that convince us to sacrifice so much on the basis of fear. Frankly, I get really frustrated with these internal extremes that tell me, “You don’t write like this or that so you should just stop…forever.” It’s ridiculous because when I breakdown this thought process, I always come to the conclusion that I’m just not happy with myself. There are still these bits of shame, like little, poisonous seeds hiding in really rich soil that I keep finding though I’ve been doing much more reflection and grounding to remind myself that who I am is enough.

I was overthinking my articles today and why I call it research. It is and isn’t research for my novel. Really, it’s just my interests being written out in more of a discourse. I’ve been told I write in a way that’s really informative, but other than my chakra stone list articles, I don’t really want the information I share to be so easily accepted. I want to discuss the topic and argument or theory I propose. Sure, some of my articles are a little more on the assertive side, as in addressing how twin flame experiences aren’t purely romantic or that being an empath does certainly lead to discovering your psychic or intuitive potential, but I still want to hear feedback. My article about my link to faith and Hermeticism shook me for a while (which is why it currently isn’t available since I’m working on its revision); I think it was my tone and my sources that brought on a lot of strong feedback, which I was grateful for, but I did end up watering those seeds of insecurity thinking I was just some delirious person who had no idea what Hermeticism was about, unlike those who gave me feedback and truly made Hermeticism their personal philosophy. But the thing is, that feedback was absolutely wonderful. I just have the tendency to take criticism as the chopping block for my dignity. I don’t need to be punished for seeing things differently or because I’m inexperienced with a certain topic, but still wanted to write about it. In fact, I’m not that inexperienced with Hermeticism, but I could certainly reach out to more sources than The Kyballion (and I certainly wished the feedback I got would’ve recommended some sources). I write because I am a writer and all that comes with that is experience and growth. Why does my insecurity want to cut myself short from the many benefits of taking everything in? And why haven’t I become grounded enough to face my insecurities with more gumption?

That in itself is also an experience I need to learn. It’s sort of like pulling out weeds from your driveway that keep sprouting over and over again. Besides, it’s not like I’m wanting to feed the weeds, it’s just a part of nature doing it’s thing. Yeah. It’s human nature. I mean, I almost went to a place of discouraging myself from finishing my novel simply because my use of mythology may piss of a few Greek and Egyptian mythology nerds. The intention of my writing isn’t too offend anyone (or coddle anyone’s views); I write so I can be. That’s it. And if the audience that takes a chance on my craft doesn’t align with my perspectives, they can put the book down and move on as I continue to tread forward and keep writing. Yes, I do want my work to be discussed. I really, really do want that, even when my sensitive nature shirks in my shadows and cries on my superego’s shoulder for not reaching certain standards or expectations. When I receive feedback and my sensitive nature gets triggered, in that moment, I have to decide whether I’m going to water the weeds or yank them out.

I am a writer. I am an artist. I am enough. I am.

I think affirming who you are on your own is the ultimate weed killer because sometimes yanking out weeds is a temporary fix. You gotta get those bitches at the root. No matter what anyone says, I have to believe that I am enough.

On another note, I recently remembered how much I love film and writing screenplays…I’ve had an old piece in mind, but it was a script for a video game. I could easily make it into a movie though.

All the writing that I do is for personal exploration and for my upcoming novel series. I recently finished an article about faith and Hermetic philosophy/religion, which I’ll share tomorrow and yowza did it take up a lot of time, but it was such a blast. I don’t regret living this way for a second. When I started writing for Vocal.Media, it was kind of hard for me to define myself and as a Metaphysical Article Writer, because, like all writers, I wasn’t sure if my articles were succinct enough in evidence or information or that they were too direct or didn’t have that engaging of a tone. There’s definitely room for improvement, but writing for Vocal.Media was sort of like a desperate grasp at making sure my writing career was intact while I work towards getting my novel series out. It was a fortunate opportunity I stumbled upon and I’m determined to make a living off of along with being a novelist, musician, and hopefully a decent artist.

My writing will continue to focus on the metaphysical, the occult, and beyond, but as I hone in on the end of the first draft of my novel, I’ll be preparing to advertise the series through art and music. This is a very independent career track and sometimes I doubt if I’ll even prove to myself that it’s plausible to live this way. I mean, others have proved it, but I know they had to work ridiculously hard. I don’t mind the challenge, I just need to remember that the results of my efforts are abundant. Progress is in every word I type, every melody in my head, every vision I try to sketch on paper. I have to remember that; otherwise, I’ll completely neglect everything I accomplished so far.

I guess this post was really just a pat on the back for myself and a reminder for me not to obsess over the statistics of my Vocal.Media articles and count the pennies until I can make my first withdrawal. It certainly does take a while to earn payment when you’re starting out on this, but like I said, I enjoy the challenge.

If you want to be awesome and help a starving writer out, checking out my articles would be the dopest thing you can do. If not for me, at least do it for my cat, Avery. Just click on this block of text then click on something that looks interesting to you.