I found an excellent video by Arithmetic Härger who discusses Animism so wonderfully! It’s about 30 minutes and worth the time.
I’m inching closer and closer to meeting my creative goals and a little bit of terror creeps deeper in my psyche because I’m one of those people who fears success. I fear being excited and proud of myself because my reactions have been “too much” sometimes. I fear being happy for myself because there’s someone else who isn’t happy and I need to be there for them. I fear the pressure that comes subsequently after being in the spotlight because of a success. I fear that all the hypothetical stimuli, all the changes and events that could occur, after a success or failure will overwhelm me and cause a mental breakdown. Shame, was the best counter to my fears, so I thought. Instead, shame magnified all of that. It discouraged me from truly embracing the achievements I had made in life and simultaneously added fuel to the fire.
So let’s knock that shit off, said my spirit guides.
Today, I spoke with the spirits about shame, my biggest fear and my favorite defense mechanism. I’m going to breakdown what I was told about shame during the reading. I used the Tao Oracle Deck, the Raider-Waite Tarot, and the Psychic Tarot Deck.
The Tao Oracle Cards
- Surrender: Submit to how you’re feeling. Acknowledge what you’re upset or ashamed about. – It’s so habitual for us to bury whatever we’re feeling when shame comes around because we’re introduced to it early on. Repressing your emotions brings temporary relief and long-term emotional scars. To have a more functional relationship with the part of you that feels overwhelmed by shame, you need to acknowledge your own feelings. Express in your own way how you’re feeling to yourself.
- Grounding: Neutralize the situation and reassure yourself. Don’t completely blame yourself or others; just address what’s happening and what you need to do to ground or calm yourself again. – Once you know how you’re feeling, discuss it as neutrally and honestly as possible. How are you feeling? I’m sad. I’m pissed. I’m depressed. I’m worried. I’m anxious. Why? Because [insert distressing situation here] is happening. Okay. What will help you calm down right now? I need to be alone. I need to cry. I need a friend. I need to hit something (inanimate). I need to scream. Really, I think the best part about grounding is just being as real as possible in the moment, preferably alone or with someone you trust and without brining physical harm to yourself or anyone else. Grounding is dropping that emotional baggage. Let that sh*t fall.
- Be Your Own Sage: Although you’ll be tempted to recall past experiences this situation reminds you of, look through those memories with compassion. Think about what you can and can’t control. – So, most of the fury has passed, but the shame is still lingering. I think this is when the brain starts thinking up ideas on how to cope. If we let shame take the lead during this brainstorm session, we won’t look at our past coping mechanisms with compassion. We may repeat self-destructive tendencies or think of something new. Compassion for the self and others, however, counters shame. The three tarot cards at the bottom, the nine of swords (the situation), the ten of swords reversed (the action), and the page of cups (the outcome), revealed that my anxiety and despair (the nine of swords) isn’t permanent. It will eventually end (the ten of swords reversed). When I look back on how I recovered, it can inspire a greater revelation about my unconscious (page of cups) and if I choose to, I can trust that experience to help me move on and prepare for the future. Thus, shame is no longer required. I felt like sh*t. I let that sh*t go. Now, I am the sh*t because I learned something new about myself. Good job, me.
- Be Cautious: Shame and other emotionally exhausting situations will not heal in a day, a week, a month, etc. . Be patient with yourself as you try to apply what you’ve learned from the past to your present situation. – During the healing process, sometimes the wound will reopen unexpectedly or we relapse and rip it open ourselves. It happens. Sometimes shame appears because we’re not healing fast enough or getting over it quick enough. You may have just learned to be your own sage, but all of the best advice for your problems won’t do much if you don’t give it time to sink in. Think of it like glue. You have to give it time to dry before it can do its job. If you keep expecting it to be instant and mess with the adhesive before it dries, you’re going to end up with mess and disappointed. It’s not just impatience, but also self-sabotage. When that happens, you go back to acknowledging your emotions, grounding yourself, learn from the experience, and apply the experience to your situation. It’s a process. Let it take its course.
This isn’t easy…
Dealing with shame in this way isn’t easy. I don’t think it’s meant to be easy. So don’t expect it to be. I’m going to just keep trying. The two of swords on the left in the second picture signifies indecision in my subconscious, which is very true right now. I feel torn between addressing my shame in this new way and letting it win, but on the right, the two of pentacles, representing my conscious, is a good reminder that shame brings up a lot of things that are hard to juggle. I can find my balance eventually if I give it time. Lastly, the third picture shows four more cards that stood out to me: Balance, to recall that two of pentacles energy, the four of wands reversed, pointing out what I’m struggling with is most likely linked to what I’ve been through with those close to me, Longevity from the Tao oracle, signifying the use of this new way of processing shame, and Emotional Loss, the core to my shame, I would say.
So, yeah, just wanted to share that. Thank you if you read all the way through. This was a bit hard to write, being more transparent and all that. But whatever. I’m not ashamed 🙂 .
If you already know what the third eye chakra is and you need a concise article that simply lists the crystals and their properties that will help balance your third eye, this the article for you. My source of reference is The Encyclopedia of Crystals by Judy Hall (2013).
Disclaimer: Though I advocate for crystal healing, I advocate for the advancements in medical science and psychiatric help. Do what you can to heal yourself, but know that these crystals are not a replacement for medicine or psychiatric advice.
To seek, to feel, to grow, and to heal—this is the foundational philosophy of Ravynne Phelan’s vibrant, surreal tarot deck, titled The Dreams of Gaia Tarot (2017). The simplistic purpose interwoven with the art is present with every tarot spread. There are enticing colors, carefully placed symbols, and a strong connection with the natural and supernatural realms. I purchased the deck around the time it was released. It was the second tarot deck in possession, but the first deck I attempted spells with because this deck truly encouraged a genuine exploration of many facets of the self. Anyone into tarot magick will find this deck is easy to work with and easy to handle, but it will also target your inner truth relentlessly. This tarot deck is for those who are ready to heal from past trauma, face the strengths and weaknesses of their personal reality, and address the true level of their emotional, mental, and spiritual maturity.
I would like to start sharing my morning tarot readings with you. Follow me on Instagram to get updates.
I wanted to share a new discovery today. There’s a website known as Occult World that provides very straightforward information about occult terms, entities, activities, and the like. They also offer courses, but I don’t know too much about that. I wanted to share and save it as a resource. If anyone else is more familiar with this site, you should chat with me.
I was looking into the demon Forcas, or Furas/Foras, because his name came to mind when I was thinking about, actually, stressing about, how I really, really don’t want my mind to lose its sharpness. I’m so insecure about math, my ADHD sometimes convinces me that my reading comprehension is garbage, and I’m convinced that I would be fluent in Japanese by now if my memory had better retention. Foras appeared offering help, but as someone who works with spirits quite a bit, I did some research (as any spirit worker should, I don’t care how experienced you are).
Honestly, he’s pretty chill. Buff as all get out, but overall pretty interesting.
Description of Forcas from The Goetia: “The Thirty-first Spirit is Foras. He is a Mighty President, and appeareth in the Form of a Strong Man in Human Shape. He can give the understanding to Men how they may know the Virtues of all Herbs and Precious Stones. He teacheth the Arts of Logic and Ethics in all their parts. If desired he maketh men invisible, and to live long, and to be eloquent. Hecan discover Treasures and recover things Lost. He ruleth over 29 Legions of Spirits, and his Seal is this, which wear thou, etc.”
Invisibility is a neat bonus. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve found anything else about this guy that is beyond this definition. Other sources simply echo the information already provided.Easter Promotion. 15% on Children’s & Young Adult Fiction, Crafts & Hobbies, and Religion. Use code: books4eastercp until April 30
Will my experiences with him be referenced in my novel series?
Most definitely. I actually have a character in the novel who is an exorcist who partners with demons (for any anime fans, no it’s not like Blue Exorcist) to take care of certain tasks or receive information (actually, maybe I should watch Blue Exorcist again for more inspiration…I don’t know…).
I’ll discuss more in the future…
Ether or aether
1. “Identical with the Hindu Akasha and the fifth element in Western Magick, Spirit, which is believed to originate the other four: Earth, Water, Fire, and Air. Also called Astral Light, Qi, Odic Force, Orgone, Prana, Vril, the Force. It can be concentrated and directed by will, and intensified by breath,” – The Llewellyn Complete Book of Psychic Empowerment.
2. (Etymology) “In ancient cosmology, the element that filled all space beyond the sphere of the moon, constituting the substance of the stars and planets. Conceived of as a purer form of fire or air, or as a fifth element. From 17c.-19c., it was the scientific word for an assumed “frame of reference” for forces in the universe, perhaps without material properties. The concept was shaken by the Michelson-Morley experiment (1887) and discarded early 20c. after the Theory of Relativity won acceptance…” – Online Etymology Dictionary
In Ancient Greece, aether was synonymous with the air the gods breathed and also with fire, referring to their deity Aether, the son of the goddess Nyx and the god Erebus.
The Use of Ether In Spirit Strings
Ether is the energetic essence of the planet Terrana. It flows through every Terran like blood allowing them to perform magic (active or passive).
More info coming soon…
Spirit Strings is a dark science fantasy novel I’m writing. Read more about it on the homepage.
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