I promised myself I’d work on music this weekend and actually share what I’m working on. I made a TikTok as a way of sort of “vlogging” about it. I have done some singing and piano playing on there if you’re interested in following. My username is authentikei.

But guys…holy shit, I forgot how terrifying it was to record myself while I sing and play. My hands started shaking as I shared the video. My singing lost its confidence with each passing moment. I had to take a break. I forgot how much I wanted to be a musician. I mean, I already am one, but to share my art…holy shit. It was so terrifying. The videos aren’t even that spectacular. I wanted to keep it simple just to figure out the app, how well the audio works, etc…

Just…

Holy shit. What a beautiful terror. It’s a blessing to have so many ways to express myself, but music has always been my primary. Doing this almost led to a panic attack. It’s so strange and familiar. I’m going to keep going, even while trembling.

No, I’m not talking about writing lyrics. I mean writing down the notes and all the other note signatures you need if you’re trying to improve your classical piano skills.

If you know anything about music, you can see for yourself that those notes of mine really aren’t anything complicated lol. It’s just crazy how long it took today to write this piece today. I warmed up around 4:45pm, then started actually playing/composing the original piece around 5:30pm and stopped at 8pm. So 2.5 hours for a two minute song. It was really fun though. I hope to be able to have the stamina to compose more and more. Studying classical music has always been a love of mine, but it became even more important when I discovered gothic and symphonic rock. That’s why my last post has a long list of musicians I admire.

I started taking classical piano lessons as a kid before I started training in karate, so my music theory knowledge faded a bit. I played by ear mostly when the lessons stopped and now I’m trying to get back in the classical saddle. It’s fun, but there’s a lot to remember and new things to learn. Hopefully, I’ll have an actual grand or upright someday. My keyboard is awesome enough to be sensitive to dynamics, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my fingers were super weak since the keys are basically plastic.

Overall, today was a good day.

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Beyond The Black is a german symphonic metal band that I really like. I don’t have a badass metal band at the moment, so I’m going to do my own take on “Love’s A Burden” with sort of a gothic electronica twist, since it is one of the few songs that isn’t heavy and I don’t have to feel too pressured.

Follow me on Instagram for more updates on my progress.

How I Did Cover Songs In The Past

So, in 2014, I actually had a channel called “Keiko Artz” where I would do cover songs (mostly anime intros, songs from movies, or songs from video games lol). When I nearly lost my battle with clinical depression in 2016, I deleted the channel and all my old songs off of YouTube and removed it from stores (well some songs might be up somewhere lol). The songs are still saved on my computer and there are some I would like to share again, but I’ll need to record them over. But when I had them up, I had them accompanied with (very amateur-ish) digital art. I was still learning how to draw then and it was incredibly difficult to have enough confidence in myself to complete a work and keep it up there. Well, three years later, I’m back into drawing again and I’m determined to keep creating. So, if you stay in touch, I hope you’ll support me. Like I said before, on Instagram I show my progress. The final result will be on my YouTube Channel and on my blog of course :).