calm body of water

Chiron in Leo Mantra

The opinions of others are separate from my truth.

I woke up anxious and angry over a dream that revealed how poorly I respond to the actions and opinions of others. I gave them too much power. It’s exactly what has made manipulating me so easy for others whether I consider them close or are just random strangers. My Leo Chiron is in the first house vibing with my ascendant and opposing my Aquarian stellium (my sun, mercury, and saturn…yeah). This energy is aggravating. I jump to conclusions about how a person will respond to my actions and feelings and while thinking I’m preparing for the worst by setting up a good comeback or thinking of the most aggressive and vengeful way to put them in their place. It sucks living and thinking this way, thinking that because my emotional needs have been ignored and rejected time and time again I always have to be on guard and ready to fight. I’m never going to condone the people who have hurt me in the past, but I would like to stop acting like those people hold so much power over my life and identity. It’s not even really their fault that they have so much power over me; I give them that power. It’s unintentional, but I do it nonetheless.

Remember The Astrological Houses The Easy Way

So during today’s meditation and oracle reading, I reflected on the pain I was holding in my heart, the part of me that lashes out in offensive and defensive ways when my anxiety spikes. That pain is still there because I try so damn hard to ward off anymore ridicule and rejection externally, then completely forget that the internal pain is still there, still screaming for help. Why does healing have to be so tricky? I mean, I feel like I’m at the point where I know I can heal myself if I just nurtured self-healing more often. Why is my go to an immediate revenge plan or preparing for the worst? I guess that’s all I’ve known, but I’m ready to remind myself that I have options when it comes to my healing and that there are some points to remember as I heal:

  • Some people are too f**ked up to care about you. (The nice version is that people are not “emotionally mature” enough, but I like mine more.)
  • People and the universe we live in don’t owe you anything and aren’t obligated to care. It’s great when people do care, but as an absurdist, I accept that most things if not all things originate from a cold meaninglessness, but if we want, we can assign purpose/meaning to what benefits us even if that may seem pointless to others.
  • We all have limited views of one another. That chiron in Leo is a significator of social anxiety, if you ask me, so it’s good to remember that people, no matter how close they are, aren’t capable of understanding who you are in your entirety and vice versa. People are more often focused on their own shit anyway. Sure, there are some obsessive freaks out there that may think about you constantly, but how much would they really know? Probably not a lot.

To reinstate my power and inner truth, I came up with this mantra during meditation:

The opinions of others are separate from my truth.

While listening to the music below, I spoke this mantra aloud and it helped me feel less enmeshed with the people I was worried about. The point of being isn’t to change how people understand you. The point is to just be. I’m so done forgetting that.

What To Expect During Each Planetary Retrograde

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