Closer and closer to realizing my dreams as reality. Today is 11/11, a really special day with a very inspiring energy. I’m ravenous for creation, determined to publish and distribute my work. I truly feel like I’m finally going in the right direction and simultaneously knowing that going any direction will benefit me somehow.
This is a just a special time. Manifestation isn’t a joke or a fancy way of playing pretend and hoping all your dreams come true in a blink. It requires patience and emotional fortitude along with a strong belief in your developing work. To me, it’s a hunger and I am no longer starving. I am providing for myself each passing day.
I had a rough night, but such a peaceful morning because I remembered that I’m free to live how I want thanks to this hunger and the development of my own self-trust.
There are so many delusions out there that want us to believe that certain experiences, especially healing and success, can be achieved instantly. I’m not saying some instantaneous things happen in life, but too many of us think that the lack of an instantaneous event is a type of curse or punishment for whatever reason. The development of gaining any kind of achievement is a process; I like to call it practice.
Reminding myself that I am in a state of practice is an encouraging way to remain teachable. Being teachable also increased my gratitude for the resources that mentor me by simply existing. My practice is a natural patience that helps me to progress towards my achievements and give me time to appreciate where I am in the present moment. This practice isn’t always a peaceful flow (which is obvious because without disruption in life, what’s the point?) and I’m grateful for the unknown elements and the unexpected obstacles. Well, I’m not instantly grateful. I get irritated still. I rant and rave. I jump on a social media platform and express frustration or make it into a poem, song, short story, etc. and that’s when it happens. In the friction of my frustration with the obstacle and the unknown, I create a spectacular new opportunity for myself. That is inspiration and acting on that inspiration is a practice.
Practice is not about perfection. The unknown and unexpected make things wonderfully messy and bring disastrous intrigue that make my heart race and my mind fluster. I anchor myself with a pen on paper, my finger gliding over a keyboard, a graphite pencil on a sketchbook, or with sound soaring from my throat. The practice is merging these instantaneous inspirations into long-term investments. Manifestation.
I adore being in a state of practice. It gives me permission to be human and just bleed.
There’s a great difference between being alone and lonely. When you wake up, you do realize that you’re never really alone, but the loneliness can creep in at times. Loneliness is actually a perception more than it is a fact. Do we all feel lonely sometimes? Definitely. However, I feel the reason why loneliness is a matter of perception is because this feeling only appears when we experience disconnection.
Even with family and friends around, disconnection occurs when it seems like we’re out of harmony with what’s happening around us. Since a lot of what happens to reality mirrors what’s going on within ourselves, disharmony with reality makes us want to disconnect. I recently experienced this disharmony. The best thing I did for myself is sit down and cry, talk to my spirit guides, create music, draw; in other words, I had to express how I felt about the disharmony. Afterwards, the external reality responded with signs and messages. This also helped me gain clarity on my own internal dialogue that at first seemed so repetitive and directionless. That’s what I mean by reality mirroring what’s going on within. If there is disconnection due to disharmony, all we can do is express that.
To manifest the connection and belongingness we long for in life, our expressions for what we need in life need to be loud and true. Some of us express privately, like myself. Some of us need to express it more publicly. Either way is considered loud and true because the universe listens and responds. Even those who don’t feel that the universe is really listening still NEED to express themselves. Their expression is an action that leads to a reaction. That’s the universe speaking, whether they like it or not. Every action parallels, ripples, echoes, and mirrors what’s already there. If we remember that expressing our needs and desires can guide us in life, no matter how directionless we feel in the moment, results will happen.
Change is the only constant, immutable energy that surrounds us. It’s sentience is still being debated by humanity, but I surely believe that energy is listening. You are not alone. The universe listens and responds.
Took a step back. Grounded myself. Remembered how much art fuels me in every single way to live proudly.
Just wanted to say that…because sometimes I forget. I focus so much on the career and financial part of everything I am doing (because I’m determined to make a living off of being a writer/musician) and then I forget about just living my truth, the law of abundance, and all the other things involving manifestation.
Everything I do comes together and the results are in abundance and I’m happy I can share that with others.
This is another one of those “just me” posts. I need to express something that is incredibly important. When it comes to manifesting the life you want, you don’t reach your full manifesting potential when you treat it like a part-time job. This is hard to admit because right now I’m torn between this job, which is blogging/writing/making music professionally and my current part-time where I work with those with autism and developmental disabilities. I absolutely love every client I work with and I learn something new from all of them. I’m really not the kind of person to half-ass a job or anything, really. With that being said, I’m noticing the majority of my energy is going into the part-time job leaving me with little energy after that shift to work on this job.
And when I try to express this to others, I often get asked “Well, why don’t you just work on your dream job on your days off or the weekends?” Because the energy needed for my dream job keeps going to the other job throughout the week and I deserve rest days (I know angst inspires art sometimes, but really…). In a perfect world, I can balance the dream job and the part-time with the same amount of energy. We don’t live in a perfect world, my dream job suffers, the part-time still takes demand. Through my own meditations, I have learned enough about pouring your energy into too many things and being left empty. The power to manifest requires having the power to persist and believe. Yes, my part-time job is helping me provide for things such as transportation and bills, but I know for a fact that if depression and strong suicidal ideation didn’t convince me my dream job wasn’t worth anything, I would be providing for myself. What I’m manifesting, I’ve done before. I’ve seen for myself that it works, but I’m letting things, like this job and other fears, pull me away.
Part-time dreaming doesn’t work. It may pay the bills and it may be one of the most wonderful jobs I’ve ever had, but it’s not the career path I’ve chosen for myself. If anything, I know my career can bring in so much abundance, that I will be able to invest in the progress of this current part-time job more than I have already. I want to donate and give to other charities to, like environmental protection. I want to make a living as the artist that I am and excel to a platform of philanthropy. I’m not going to be able to do that with a part-time attitude. My part-time dreaming is going to be a full-time reality.
I am in LOVE with an audiobook right now: “You’re A Badass at Making Money” by Jen Sincero. I’m sorry if you’re reading this as someone who is up to their ears with self-help books, but as someone who has swam through various self-help books hoping to find something that has scratched me where I itched, I promise you…this one’s a keeper.
I wrote an article called “The ‘Lack Mentality’ is Killing Us”, which was inspired by my own lack mentality and the lack mentality from the people around me. Misery became our currency, when really it’s what I called “a slow, subtle suicide,” (Authentikei 2018). The main points of my article were:
Dropping expectations will help you more in the long run. (This doesn’t mean lower your expectations. It means let go of the unrealistic ones that stress you out and don’t force yourself to be positive. Instead, face your reality objectively.)
You are not worthless, useless, shameful, or horrible. You have value that supersedes your monetary and/or social status.
If the dis-ease is present, face it. You do not deserve to suffer.
Taking care of your needs is a process. There is no get-rich-quick or solve-all-problems solution, but every step you take towards what you need is evidence of hope.
Replace satisfying those impulsive acts with appreciating what you have and investing in that by applying what you have to your reality.
Listening to Jen Sincero’s book has made
me ecstatic. While listening to the audiobook, I would be yelling “YES!
FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT!” out loud. I’ve already disturbed some family
members, especially those who overheard the narrator saying “you’re one
powerful motherfucker” while I was listening to it in the car, but
Sincero’s book is ANYTHING but disturbing. It’s a fucking wake-up call. It’s
something I’ve wanted to scream for so long. It’s made me wake up over things I
thought I understood but really didn’t.
I’d like to share a few of her quotes that have hit me HARD so far:
“The walls of your comfort zone are lovingly decorated with your lifelong collection of favorite excuses.”
“What comes out of your mouth comes into your life.”
“Time wasted rationalizing the mediocre could be time spent creating the magnificent.”
“When you don’t investigate what’s going on with your words, thoughts, and beliefs, you risk stumbling through life on autopilot.”
“Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.”
“There is no lack of things to be grateful for if you remember to pay attention.”
“You can choose to be a victim to your circumstances or take responsibility for how you choose to perceive them.”
There is such a big difference between agreeing with these statements and actually living these statements. I would add so many more, but I’ll end up copying and pasting the whole book. Her book reminds me of the last paragraph in the “Poor Application of Support and Resources” section of my article:
“Challenge the Illusion:
Challenge the lack mentality with a mentality of abundance and gratitude. What
do you have and how can you apply that to help you in the present moment? If
you find it doesn’t satisfy all of your problems, address how what you have
helps with one or a few of the issues. That counts.”
I want to address a slight difference between myself and Sincero. When I wrote this article, I was still perceiving money and being rich in general as something that wasn’t that important in life (even though I do financial abundance spells almost every month). I was fine with receiving money, but I never felt comfortable loving money. Loving money was the equivalent of greed. Yeah, it’s not. Sincero describes money as not just our currency that makes the world go round, but it’s also a type of energy flowing throughout the universe reminding us we have a right to be wealthy and enjoy it. You’ll only be greedy if you choose to be greedy. Some of us have very generous and philanthropic ideas that we would love to make into reality if we had the funding. Sincero encourages the reader throughout to constantly keep in mind of all the awesomeness you can do with money (which doesn’t all have to be philanthropic, by the way. Treat yourself is definitely a thing too and can be harmless act without being greedy).
So when I look back at my article, yes her and I address the “lack mentality” in very similar ways, but I must say, she’s taken it a step further and exalted the abandonment of the “lack mentality” to a place of complete badassery.
I have to share one more quote from her:
“Your heart is the most powerful muscle in your body. Do what it says.”
Seriously, either buy or listen to this book right now.