As a writer, thinking about karma keeps me mindful of how audiences processes information. One thing leads to another. A ripple effect, right? But it’s not just about action and result or action and reaction, it’s the tension between those two things that makes karma such a universal concept because we’re all sentient enough to think about the “what if”, or the unknown/hypothetical situation caused by an action. For many of us, that’s our self-imposed prison taking form.
I think this is a common thing to happen to most writers. You get to that weird middle ground of your novel and wonder if any of it is even worth it. For me, I was worried about my poor habit of overthinking. In my Violet Project Diaries on Vocal, I mentioned that I had to delete some characters and parts of my novel because it was “too meta”. Although I do want my work to be thought provoking, I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to hard or that I bit off more than I can chew. I’m trying to stay humble during this process, but I took a step past humility and wandered into hopelessness. It was tempting to just let it all go and figure out what I “really” wanted in life, but… I mean come on, I’ve spent over 2 years on this thing. Even though I have been thinking critically about the audience’s reception to my work, I’m not going to just drop it because I can’t figure out EXACTLY how audiences want their story told.
The last diary entry got to me. I was going in circles about the concept of karma and trying to figure out why we connect to that concept in storytelling. I was unsure if I was writing my story “correctly” regarding the karmic justice thing, but I already know I won’t know if it’s working or not unless I finish it to the best of my ability and then get it out there.
Writing the second draft has been one hell of a ride, but I’m not giving up. Please check out my Violet Project Diaries on Vocal where I discuss my workflow and the writing resources I stumble across. I’m trying to post as much as possible throughout the week.
Do you ever catch yourself trying to gain the approval of others? I consider that to be a bad habit of mine. There’s nothing I need to prove and trying to make people understand where I’m coming from can be such a drag. I feel like I’m surrounded by people who don’t try to get […]
Prompt via The Life of Dee: Autumnal crafts for toddlers – give us ideas on what our little ones could make this season. I don’t have children. I’m not crafty. I wasn’t even allowed to do autumn crafts because when you’re raised by Christian parents, they think everything is a gateway to Satan. So I […]
It’s so important to have just one day completely stress free, but that’s not easy…like ever. Considering that many of us have been “grinding” so to speak either in the workforce or in school most of our lives, we can’t just say, “I’m relaxing now,” and boom! You’re chill AF. That’s not life. That’s not […]
Karma is more about understanding your habits and inner truth than it is fearing the consequences of every action. We catch ourselves doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, and then being disappointment. Understanding ourselves helps us ween off the subconscious need for codependency and reinforce the beneficial truth of interdependency.
For me, I have the habit of using defensiveness as a guard against being abandoned, rejected, and exploited because it has happened many times in this life and my past ones. However, that desire to guard is a codependent mechanism in itself. I defined myself by the approval and disapproval of others rather than be my true self and let those who come and go do as such. I think even as a writer, putting out my work and having to wait for approval or disapproval still gets to me, but that fear is only temporary. My karmic tarot reading echoed that today. When you’re under the rule of authoritarian guardians or an oppressive culture, questioning your own worth comes naturally, I think. So it feels very foreign to just be. It feels almost “illegal” to be who you are.
There’s a karmic pattern the oppressors need to recognize as well, but that’s not my responsibility. I need to focus on just being me, even if I express some things that will make the oppressive, authoritarian types lose their s**t. Not gonna lie, that’s certainly the motivation between “Autonomy Bleeds Black”.