First, I just want to say I’m really grateful for all the visitors I get on blog, who I’m noticing are mostly occult and metaphysics enthusiasts! I’m glad my posts have caught your attention and I hope they were helpful.
Second, there have been a lot of website changes. I’m trying to polish the platform so my future works will be better displayed. There was just too much clutter before, but hopefully the investments and changes I’ve made will bring clarity to my vision for Authentikei.
Thirdly, along with my psychology studies, I’ve been doing a lot of pagan and occult research that I hope to blog about soon, but when I’m not studying, I’m usually writing poetry, my novel, searching for aesthetic inspiration ravenously, or just…thinking about everything. I swear I’m going to make time for more blogging/article/ social media content very soon. In fact, I’ll share the writing sources I run into soon.
Lastly, I’ve been feeling the healthiest I have ever been and I’m so grateful. Actually my gratitude for my life has been exploding and all I want to do is share it with you, but I know that making high quality work requires patience, focus, introspection and adaptability. Although I’m busy, you’re more than welcome to chat with me on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or Instagram and you can take a look at my Pinterest too if we have the same aesthetic vibe.
I hope you’re all well, safe, and healthy. I can’t wait to show you my work when it’s time.
In simple conversations with others, I mute myself unintentionally…
…and it feels involuntary because I’m the type that wants to spill my heart’s contents. I just feel like when I’m around the majority of the people in my life, they have shown me what they really care or don’t care about through rejection, belittlement, invalidation, and sardonic attitudes assaulting what is not just important to me, but also accurate. So like many sensitives, I choose silence while my eyes tear up and my heart aches and my stomach churns and my mind screams.
This became a painful habit of my people pleasing persona. The consequence was volcanic, but luckily for me the pen could channel the magma within and somehow transcend from being raw and unruly to becoming divine and sculpted. It was the first poem I wrote about how much I loved Spring in 5th grade where I realized I was being listened to. It was my first song about friendship where I realized I was being heard. So my poetic career plodded on while traversing through goth culture, my parent’s divorce, going to college early, losing toxic friends and becoming the toxic friend.
I didn’t pick up the pen as much when depression won me over, but I’d reach for it in desperate times to avoid carving into my skin, since that too was belittled, invalidated, mocked, and only a few times led friends to beg me to never go too far.
I’ve teased death a time or two, but our relationship is so much more fulfilling now that my poetic purpose has been embraced by my artistic and fragmented soul. That volcanic energy would cool sometimes and seal the broken parts me rearranged by new philosophies and mysticism that called the pen to my hand again, reminding me, especially when I’m erupting, that poetry is permission to simply be.
The page that was once “Stand Up – BLM/LGBTQ+” is now No Justice, No Peace, which provides resources, volunteer/donation opportunities, and more regarding the institutional and system prejudices being perpetuated in the USA. The page has been updated to include the Stop Asian Hate movement. I will soon be adding sources regarding how you can […]
After such an intense year of repeated exposure of people, either famous or not, and their ugly under bellies, I expected that the people worship craze would decrease. How many Americans voted with the idea that “their saviors” will save a country so they won’t have to take any of the responsibility? How many celebrity personalities are still being defended by their fans when that person should be accountable for their actions? How many of our friends and family have been so emotionally manipulative in our lives that we surrender to it, thinking it’s the norm to have those people and their interactions with us define who we are? How long is this going to go on?
I think this kind of mentality varies between cultures, but overall, let’s stop surrendering the power we have, used to uncover and nurture our true selves, to influences that don’t really know or understand us. Let’s stop believing that our desire to give and support another is equivalent with a permanent contract, where you owe them your life forever.
Some people have the genuine heart to serve, and even they are aware of their dignity, exercising enough self-respect to know what to nurture in their life and what poisons to let go. People worship is one of those poisons. Know yourself and care for yourself so you can care for others in a way that helps you maintain your autonomy. I believe you would love so much in life with abandon if you cultivated this.
Hello, I hope you all are well. I’m finally getting back into a good working groove again for my art projects and my novel, which reminded me about how much I miss blogging about my progress/research. Starting with the progress with my novel series, what really helped was using a cork board and sticky notes […]
Doing some research on Russian and Slavic witchcraft led me to this wonderful and informative podcast by Magick and Mediums. Just wanted to share and hope you enjoy. Also, I’m currently reading Natasha Helvin’s two books Slavic Witchcraft and Russian Black Magic.
To be honest, I think it’s hilarious that I picked the most stressful November (for the Americans anyway) to give this challenge a go for the first time. My experience has been a juggle between caring for my mental health and simply enjoying the writing process. Distractions and interruptions have been abundant and when my mind gets too exhausted from pushing them away, all it wants to do is escape with a video game or book because my mind is too tired to plot a story. I’m having to be incredibly patient and constantly remind myself how important this is to me.
The progress I’ve made so far is significant. I won’t give up.
Comment below and tell me how your experience is going if you’re taking on the challenge and if you’re a fellow writer who isn’t writing a novel, do you have any tips to ward off stress during a writing session? I would love some pointers. (Yes, I’ve already tried take a break from or delete social media.)
I didn’t really notice the Mercury in Scorpio retrograde energy until yesterday and I could only express how the energy messed with me in a silly Tumblr post.
Yeah, so that happened and the relief from perfectionism just from the academic aspect has bled into the music aspect as well. I’m so freaking close to releasing this new cover song and already planning the next one!
Sometimes a friend will ask me if Mercury retrograde is even a “real” thing. Usually I say it comes down to your belief and understanding of astrology, but if the retrograde energies don’t seem to affect you, then why worry?
First, I just want to say I’m really grateful for all the visitors I get on blog, who I’m noticing are mostly occult and metaphysics enthusiasts! I’m glad my posts have caught your attention and I hope they were helpful. Second, there have been a lot of website changes. I’m trying to polish the platform […]
In simple conversations with others, I mute myself unintentionally… …and it feels involuntary because I’m the type that wants to spill my heart’s contents. I just feel like when I’m around the majority of the people in my life, they have shown me what they really care or don’t care about through rejection, belittlement, invalidation, […]
Sometimes I’ll listen to old music, whether I created it or it was composed by someone else, and just cry as I relive the negative emotions and false, illogical arguments as to why I wasn’t good enough or as good as them. Then I relive the memories of a broken mind and more broken heart pushing others away simultaneously with and without the intention to do so. Splitting is what they call it…
While I continue to pick up the pieces, I remember that I want nothing more than to prove my past self wrong and prove those who hurt me wrong. I’m good enough. This is my life’s work. I can do this. I’m going to do this.