People holding onto expectations in a changing world to the point where they break or submit to delusion is what makes me saddest about everything that’s going on and because I know what that’s like. I hope I’m getting better at staying in the present and trusting my adaptability and awareness, but naturally it wavers because life throws curve balls, quick jabs, and many other surprise attacks that land right in my gut. I’ve learned that in that wavering, that panic, that’s the exact moment you need to be more real with yourself and the situation. Reflection and revelation is so key here, but old habits are tempting, I know. Old coping mechanisms are tempting too. Usually what is “old” is the desire for that familiar sense of control. Change is paradoxically the opposite and the epitome of control. You realize things beyond your control and then do what you can to stabilize again. In the midst of that paradox, I think recognizing the paradox itself helps and may prevent us from the delusions of absolute powerlessness and absolutely control. This really isn’t the time to see in black and white. This is the time to realize and trust your multifaceted self and the multifaceted reality. It seems chaotic until it’s not.
For example, I posted earlier and even today on other platforms about the harmfulness of the racist/xenophobic actions and words, but I have accepted that there are people who will be apathetic to the hate or justify their reasons for doing what they want. I can’t control them, but I can set the boundary, I can stand up for what I believe in, I can block bitches whenever I want lol and I can adapt to the results of my choices. The people who do things that anger me do not have power over my character. Emotional responses to people and what they do are human. At the end of the day, they made choices, I respond to those choices with my own choices, then things happen. Reflection happens. We process the experience and we go on. That’s just life. So, even though I’m sad that some expectations are breeding false hope and pain, I know it’s a part of life and so they’re going to live their way and I’ll live mine.
There are so many delusions out there that want us to believe that certain experiences, especially healing and success, can be achieved instantly. I’m not saying some instantaneous things happen in life, but too many of us think that the lack of an instantaneous event is a type of curse or punishment for whatever reason. The development of gaining any kind of achievement is a process; I like to call it practice.
Reminding myself that I am in a state of practice is an encouraging way to remain teachable. Being teachable also increased my gratitude for the resources that mentor me by simply existing. My practice is a natural patience that helps me to progress towards my achievements and give me time to appreciate where I am in the present moment. This practice isn’t always a peaceful flow (which is obvious because without disruption in life, what’s the point?) and I’m grateful for the unknown elements and the unexpected obstacles. Well, I’m not instantly grateful. I get irritated still. I rant and rave. I jump on a social media platform and express frustration or make it into a poem, song, short story, etc. and that’s when it happens. In the friction of my frustration with the obstacle and the unknown, I create a spectacular new opportunity for myself. That is inspiration and acting on that inspiration is a practice.
Practice is not about perfection. The unknown and unexpected make things wonderfully messy and bring disastrous intrigue that make my heart race and my mind fluster. I anchor myself with a pen on paper, my finger gliding over a keyboard, a graphite pencil on a sketchbook, or with sound soaring from my throat. The practice is merging these instantaneous inspirations into long-term investments. Manifestation.
I adore being in a state of practice. It gives me permission to be human and just bleed.
Featured Image Art: Quando il Demone Chiama by L-E-N-T-E-S-C-U-R-A on Deviantart
You need to remind others and yourself that you have the ability and the resources to do great things and enjoy life. Pursue your joy, damn it! This is a hard thing to do because this isn’t what many of us are raised to do or learn. Just as fear alerts you to what you find dangerous, joy alerts you to what sparks excitement in your life.
I had to get that out because I’m sick of us limiting ourselves, damn it. If you’re tired of humanity being self-destructive, then stop self-destructing!
I’m not trying to make this sound like an easy thing. I’m choosing to contribute to the forces that encourage the accessibility to possibility.
You know what brought me a little joy today? Recycling my candle jars and putting herbs in them! And then sharing that with others! Boom! Because being a witch makes me joyful.
Become your joy. It is possible. This isn’t forced positivity; it’s anti-self-depreciation. I’m not going to tolerate self-destructive behavior on this platform.