Blind With My Flesh – Judicium – [Poem/Art]

Blind With My Flesh – by Kris Leliel on DeviantArt and ArtStation

That part of me

was never me.

Damning guilty pleasures.

Praying for my convicted spirit.

Decreeing my flesh

stay separate from my soul.


Pleading for a baptism

dawn after dawn.

Art Progress – [Art]

Here’s the progress I’ve made on my current painting. Obviously it’s not finished. I watched one of Marco Bucci’s 10 Minutes to Better Painting videos (and I just realized I’ve been watching them out of order lol) to get me in the mood and really think about my piece. So far I really like it, but I do get tired near the end of the day. I’m going to rest now. The video is below if anyone is curious.

Stay safe. Please…

Artists Who Inspired My To Try Digital Painting and My New Dark Poetry Project

Recently I posted an update of my recent project on Instagram.

It’s not too bad so far… I’m loving that while I paint, I get into kind of a zone, but when I get uneasy or unsure, listening to other artists and finding other artists helped me put things into a more productive perspective. Let me share what I’ve found.

First one, Ethan Becker. This guy is a goof, but he gave really good advice.

He is totally against drawing from imagination. Instead, you should reference and “steal” from other artists you admire, which is any art that makes you go, “Yes! I want to do that!” In the past, my otaku (anime loving) self really wanted to work on the anime/manga style, but it screwed me and my confidence up so bad. Some people do amazing anime art, but I am just not one of those people mostly because some of the styles even from my favorite artists, wasn’t what I really wanted to do. It took a while for the real artist in me to dig out of the pile of manga and let me know that they wanted to be more of an illustrator so they could create work that was more conceptual or evoked a story/ambience.

One artist who really caught my attention and lit that spark under my ass was Nan Fe , a dark fantasy/horror artist from Singapore.

love lockdown by Nan Fe

Most of Nan Fe’s art has a dark mood that is sensual, macabre, gloomy, mystical; I could go on, but these are the moods I want to embody in my work. I am IN LOVE with her art. The piece she made here is based on the COVID19 crisis. I sense so much doom and vulnerability from this piece combined with a genuine desire to reconnect again. Love it.

Another artist who inspires me and is actually a new discovery while I was looking for references for my new project is Denis Forkas Kostromitin

Death and the Maiden by Denis Forkas

There’s something about Denis’s art that gives off almost an Italian renaissance atmosphere braided with metaphysical and occult symbolism. Studying Denis’s art helped be develop a better understanding of value, mood, texture, and even realizing that the cliche “less is more” actually works. This article, displays more of his work.

After I found a few artists that inspire, the next question was, “Where do I start?” I’ve never been much of a painter, but always wanted to try. Sketching was more my schtick, so going out of my comfort zone was intimidating until I found another art teacher on YouTube: Marco Bucci

I watched a few of his “10 Minutes To Better Painting” series and felt less and less afraid with each lesson. I was doing less overthinking and doing more critical thinking. Marco really is an excellent teacher with a very “teacher” sense of humor, but I couldn’t be more grateful that I came across him.

Since finding all these artists, painting hasn’t been excruciating. Now I’m just exploring and learning.

Poetry as Painting Prompts

After I published my horror short story “Autonomy Bleeds Black” (Available on Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Apple Books, Scribd, and more) I really wanted to create some illustration for it, but I wasn’t confident. This is as far as I got and I never shared the completion of the work because I changed the story a bit.

So, to build up my confidence, I’m using some of my dark poetry pieces as painting prompts. Like I said, I’ve been having a lot of fun learning and exploring painting rather than pressuring myself and hope to share the journey with you all.

Thanks for reading. Be well and if you’re a budding or experienced artist, comment below, I would love any advice or artist recommendations.

Sorrow Inspires

Another long day of being homebound was another day of unwanted realities sinking in. One after the other after the other. As those sunk, I sunk because that’s how my mental health rolls.

However, I did rise from the gravity of reality and did some drawing today that will soon become painting.

Sorrow inspired today and I’m a little higher than when I sank before.

Feel free to follow on Instagram to see previews of my artwork. I hope to sell someday…

A Contemplation Coma

All right, I disappeared for a bit again. I had a busy week and needed a few days to myself. Now to say a few things.

Many thanks to the feedback on my article on Stoker’s Dracula and the Epistolary Narrative. I have the utmost gratitude for those who are sharing it and taking the analysis to heart. If you’d like to share it with fellow writer friends on Facebook, go on ahead and follow Authentikei afterwards.

Yesterday, I did a sketch on the computer and I’m pretty stoked about it. I plan to follow through (if I can get through the dreaded lineart phase…) and make an art page…because why not?

Today, I worked on my horror short story. I really want to start publishing these stories because they’re related to the fantasy world of my novel series. Just because the novel isn’t ready yet doesn’t mean I can’t start sharing my world with others. I’ll make a more thorough post about short story writing another time because I learned something very interesting about my writing mentality while working.

To end on the update, I wanted to talk about my mission statement a bit because these past few days have been a “contemplation coma”. I never stop thinking about…everything and desperately need the platform to express myself and thanks to those of you who have supported my work and followed me, I know I’m not the only one. So I’ve decided, my long term goal will be to make Authentikei a non-profit for my fellow artistic philosophers. I do have a mission and a vision, but the business plan is a work in progress. Not only is this project motivated by my own experiences and my fellow thinkers, but I really am tired of those who feel a strong connection to the humanities and social sciences degrading themselves because it’s not “a career path that makes good money” or whatever people are saying nowadays to put down the studies that value human nature and existentialism. I know America is in such a strange economic crisis (I call it strange because it seems more complicated than it should be…) and I’m not proposing that I have the solution to all of our financial problems, but this is a time we need to support ourselves more than ever.

I believe that’s why we have more websites promoting “patron” programs. Having patrons was a common way to make some money in the past and it’s making a comeback. I’m hoping the platform I create encourages reciprocal support, but not just through finance; support also reinforces us to circulate our work and develop the bravery to express our personal philosophies and have healthy discourse with those who agree, disagree, or are indifferent. Too many of us feel like we’re not being heard or that we don’t have enough of [blank] to do what we love and resolve the internal or external turmoil in life (which is probably why so many of us scream at each other via social media). This patron way of thinking is encouraging us to take a moment to listen and invest some time to really listen to someone then decide from there whether or not we want to invest even more. I just think it’s cool to encourage that kind of unity. The rat race needs to be cancelled so we can be cooperative, authentic, and functional rather than competitive. We’re not there yet, but we’re working towards it. I hope as I continue to express my inner truth and manifest funding through my creativity, that I will be able to give back and support those who need it. I mean receiving and giving back is a thing that already happens! It just doesn’t seem like that…we’re too caught up in our misery…and that’s why I support artistic expression with philosophy. Yes, it’s good that we can be there for each other, but even in a perfect world, dealing with our internal problems is our responsibility.

More to come…

Oh and…I’m wondering about making a paranormal page. Would that be too much? I’m just such a nerd for paranormal instances. Yeah…I can figure out how to infuse the paranormal with philosophy and I bet I’m not alone in that (this is probably how metaphysics came to be even though they are quite different, lol).