So after some work and some rest, I’ve been able to progress in character development and the lore of my world. I’m stuck on vampires again, but temporarily. One of my characters is my vampire and an exorcist. I’m basing her spirit work skills on exorcism techniques they used in ancient Japan.
For the record, working on a novel isn’t doing the same thing every day, at least for me. To keep the mind active and the inspiration flowing, I think it’s okay to take different approaches to your work. It’s a great confidence booster too when you create a different way of developing your story and it leads to progress, but even when you don’t make the breakthrough you hoped for, taking in that experience is a progress in itself.
My struggles with anxiety have surprisingly inspired me to fight for a confident attitude towards my work and myself. Shadow work during this time (shadow work is a self-reflection process many pagans/witches do through divination or other means, in case you don’t know) has helped so much. I did start a daily Instagram posting of one of my shadow work methods, but now I’m behind because of some mental health issues on my end. I’m still trucking on though and wanted to say that things are still moving forward.
To end, a little advice from a teabag tassel I got yesterday: The purpose of life is to know yourself, love yourself, trust yourself, and be yourself.
“This is not your average list of cleansing techniques. You’re not going to be told that these techniques are going to help you “get rid of all the negativity and toxicity in your life.” You’re not going to be offered products that can take care of everything that’s a problem in your life. This is a list of cleansing techniques that also empowers you. We are taking the time to know ourselves, know our environment, and invest in our confidence.”
I disappeared a couple of days so I could reorient myself towards a self-made schedule. I have so many projects in mind, but I want to bring them into reality, which required me to take a step back and look at the big picture. I have a week left until my first draft for my novel is complete. After this week, I’ll be publishing more, from articles to short stories to music. I feel like a broken record announcing this again, but it’s necessary. One of the hardest things about being a writer, musician, or any other type of artist is that the work you do takes time and every second you put towards that work is progress, progress that not many people see up close. That makes it difficult to have a support group.
I talk to my friends and family about it and it’s hard dealing with the confused looks on their faces, but rather than being insecure and think “Oh no. They don’t get it,” and then feeling like their lack of validation means all I’m working on is a waste of time, I instead remember that they’re just not familiar with this field. Most of my friends and family are in a type of healthcare, educational, or business line of work. Those fields are more straightforward in their job description and more reputable because they’re popular sources of direct income. There is so much in artistry that is passive income. I think too many people look down on that mostly because it isn’t a simple way to make money. That’s what I love about my job though. It’s not simple or straightforward. I don’t think any job is easy, especially if your heart isn’t into it, but the straightforward jobs do lack complexity and some people like that. Not me lol. My creative quirks need an outlet.
So, now that I’m reoriented after all that traveling (which gave me a migraine for over a week!), I’m back on schedule and I’m sure the way I’ve set things up will help me produce more content regularly so the passive income system can do its magic.
You know I’m talking about money and reputation, but ultimately I’m doing this because it’s what I love to do, I’m in a healthy work environment, and I’m seizing the opportunity to build a platform that I hope encourages others to embrace their truth. The world needs more authenticity with accountability right now. Who knows, it might wake us up to the hell that is global warming (because we sure can’t reverse it…). Upcoming burning hellscape or not, I’m excited and hoping the warmth of summer will inject bursts of life into my work (I’m excited to celebrate Litha too, obviously).
Side note: I need to get Amazon Prime so I can watch Good Omens. I’ve been sooooo excited for it!
So, it hit me recently that I’m overburdening myself with expectations…again. I’ve been overthinking what it means to have a platform for your creative projects and it stresses me out when I compare myself to others or degrade the resources I already have that will help me achieve my goals. After a few deep breaths, I’ve realized that even though I’m extremely introverted and have a difficult time reaching out, I’m going to make sure I set aside time to show more of who I am and how my work has been going at the least on a monthly basis. It’s just…so hard sometimes to convince yourself that there is an audience out there for your work and even if they don’t know you personally, they may care. Actually, even the people who know me personally aren’t sure what I’m doing. I hide everything due to the great fear that no one will understand. Yet art isn’t just about understanding the artist. It’s about experiencing their own creative expression. Either you’ll harmonize with it or you won’t. That’s all it comes down to.
Second. I actually have a song released called “Storm Magick”. It’s not on streaming or download sites at the moment, but it is on my YouTube channel. I’ll have it back in stores momentarily.
One of my dreams is to create a soundtrack for my novel and this is one of the songs. I’ll definitely be releasing new original music, but I want to go back to covers like I did in the past. I learned so much about recording and mixing when I did covers and I know I can apply that experience to my originals. *crosses fingers*
Third, I’ve been messing around with acrylic paints and have had a lot of fun. It’s such a great outlet. I still plan to show sketches and character designs for my novel and I will share them on here as promised. That will mostly be digital work I do on Clip Studio Paint. Traditional painting, however, will be just for me.
Lastly, WordPress has been such a great platform that allows me to connect with other writers, artists, witches, pagans, mythology and history nerds, and more. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not as diligent as I am with other social media platforms. The monthly basis update I was talking about earlier will be dedicating myself to blogging and just expressing who I am for at least a solid week (starting today). It’s a challenge for myself really, but if I can connect with others as I try this out, that would be lovely and a real confidence booster.
I think that’s it for now. I have to admit that being so diligent with my artistic career, trying to build a lifestyle where I can pursue my passions without selling my soul to someone else in exchange for basic financial needs is very stressful. Am I grateful for where I am at right now? Most definitely. I have a lot of support and care. Persisting to attain the success I most desire is up to me though.