Being Enough – [Just Me]

Holding high standards for ourselves eventually lead to us saying somthing along the lines of, “I’m just not good enough.” I just wrote about that in my VPD. I’m so sick of those thoughts. They make me angry, not at myself, but I do go down memory lane and remember what led to me being this way towards myself and others sometimes.

Forgiveness is overrated and underrated. It’s the most bittersweet thing we can give ourselves and we can practice doing that more often by recognizing and accepting our flaws. Additionally, we can remember that accepting our flaws doesn’t mean our flaws define us entirely.

My VPD I’m posting on Vocal today is about transitioning from being a confident editor who’s really good at brainstorming to an anxious writer being too hard on themselves. I’m going to challenge myself today, and if you’d like to join me as a fellow perfectionist go ahead, to direct my inner critic solely on the story and not let it branch off into other territory such as my identity, intelligence, or anything else that’s personal. The goal with the second draft is to refine the story and just do my best as a hardworking and vulnerable writer. I treasure my vulnerability. I treasure my flaws. If I were talking to a friend, I wouldn’t want them to be down on themselves because of mistakes they made while working on their life’s passion. Recognizing areas that need improvement is better than being delusional. I’m going to trust myself to do better and be better without tearing myself down.

My Side Characters Kinda Suck, But I Can Fix Them – The Violet Project Diaries – Entry 9

My Side Characters Kinda Suck, But I Can Fix Them

Oh god, they’re horrible.

My first draft rendition of introducing this new group of characters reminded me how sinful it is to write cringy dialogue and that my characters should have purpose or just not exist at all. I don’t mean to be too hard on myself considering it’s the first draft, but I was disappointed to read this scene of diverse characters introducing themselves with a silly/comedic camaraderie and then turning out to be kind of overpowered later. I already know my anime-brain took the lead on this. Now current me has to deal with characters whose purpose is poorly translated. While keeping my focus on making sure the voices of these characters were definitive and believable with their personality, I thought more critically about the development of side characters.

Flowing in Circles – VPD – Entry 4

The Violet Project Diaries is a diary series about the development of my writing career as a dark fantasy novelist. In the hopes of tracking my own writing progress, I hope to help and encourage other writers.

The Violet Project Diaries – Entry 4 – Flowing in Circles

If I were to describe where I’m at on the story timeline of my second draft, I’m approaching the “rising action” part of Freytag’s Pyramid. On the story structure circle created by Harmon, I’m somewhere between step 2 and 3. This is probably why I’m so giddy about having good flow today because this is the buildup before diving to the underground/unconscious/unknown. If you’d like to hear more on that, I have another Will Schroder video for you.

Decisions and Promoting More Dark Artists – [Just Me]

Yesterday, I had to accept two things. The first was that I suck at taking my own advice initially, but then it sinks in after I get over my panic attacks and myself (haha!). Second, I really want to write articles and blog full-time, so I’m going to just do it. As I work on my own dark arts, I want to write more about other dark or gothic works that inspire me; painters, writers, musicians, films! And I’m going to infuse that with my mental health writing and metaphysical interests, of course. It’s too important to me. This is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life, create and be inspired to create so here I go. No more random gaps of silence from me. It’s time to be brave.

Remember, you can follow me on Instagram (link is on the homepage) to get sneak peeks on what I’m working on.

“Home” is Where the Art is – [Article/Contest Entry]

So Vocal Media is having a challenge for Vocal Creators like me called “Behind the Beat” where we write about a song that changed our lives. I wrote about “Home” by Three Days Grace and ultimately it was a bittersweet experience, but so very awesome. Here’s the beginning:

The perfect parent doesn’t exist. There will never be a guardian with flawless parenting or the supernatural sense of knowing exactly what their children need all the time. However, every parent and child will come to experience the bittersweet fact of life called pain. Pain echoes in the hearts of the emotionally neglected with a perfect resonance that could bond them or break them. It transforms our relationships with one another and our relationship with life. That echo has reverberated for generations. In my time, the echo thrust into me through the song “Home” by Three Days Grace and it not only woke me to the pain I didn’t understand or know how to express, but also acted as my personal catalyst for self-expression and retrospection through the arts and friendship.

Click here to read the rest.

Novel Progress and Short Stories – [News/Progress]

I keep going quiet unintentionally, but it’s mostly because I’ve been busy. Writing articles has been a lot of fun along with working on my novel and working on a creative project every week. This week, I’m focusing on a short story that I aim to publish on Kindle Direct Publishing.

Making my creative content into more and more of a business has been an exhausting adventure, but I don’t mind it at all. It’s really testing me and the obstacles I’ve run into with each test has been more helpful than defeating (Yes, that was basically “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.)

I was thinking about making my announcements with the novel an actual article, but whatever. I have finally read through the exposition of my novel, which truly was the first 100-110 pages and now I’m actually WRITING the second draft rather than just reading and making notes. It’s been really awesome to catch all the things in my story that made the beginning so plain and a bit predictable. I had to completely revamp my protagonist’s personality and weave the subplots into the main plot with a lot more finesse than before. So yeah, I’m thrilled about that!

For my short stories, I’ve been back and forth about how to present them, but I finally have a solid concept for the first story. My goal is to present short stories first to give you an idea of what my world and its dynamics are and then the novel. Many other authors I like have done that, and it’s been really fun so far. I have to admit, it’s sure making me a stickler about timelines (That’s a good thing though. A stressful, but good thing.)

That’s all I have to say. More research articles to come. I made a post on Instagram about the Kybalion which has been…a doozy, to say the least lol. It’s still going to take me a while to write about it because I need to have a solid foundation on Hermeticism first.

And just to reiterate, although I am pagan, my research/articles are done under a more objective or reflective intent for the sake of my creative projects and has zero intent to spread false information or be disrespectful of other belief systems.

Thanks again for all the support.

Astrology 101: Aspects – [New Article]

How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone about their zodiac sign and they bluntly claim that their sign doesn’t describe them at all, and thus, it only seems like nonsense to them? Studying astrology takes an ample amount of time once you get past the sun sign.

Aspects “link the various parts of our nature and experience…[and] are shown as lines connecting planets from different parts of the chart. The position of the lines is determined by a set of rules, based on the number of degrees that separate the planets in the 360˚ chart circle,” (Gillett, 2011).