One thing we empaths seem to have in common is that we attract narcissists. In the past I would’ve said that attracting and keeping the narcissistic, manipulative, emotionally draining people in my life wasn’t intentional, but I’m not sure how true that really was.
October is my shadow work month where I get really f**king real with myself, so I’m going to share a little reflection with you. Sometimes us empaths attract the people who are absolutely nothing like us or find them to be mildly or extremely attractive because they have character traits we’re missing.
Narcissists are disgustingly charming.
We know it. We hate it. BUT let’s just pause for a moment and think about where they get the charm from. They aren’t pushovers. They exude a ridiculous amount of confidence and charisma. Depending on where they are on the NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) spectrum and if they’re not completely lost in their grandiosity, they can be incredibly intelligent and apply their intellect to get nearly anything they want. Their level of confidence and the strength of the boundaries they set can be admirable to an empath.
We’re so used to being open that we rarely balance our openness to others with time for ourselves (and everyone’s balance is different, by the way. That’s realized as you learn more about yourself). And let’s not forget that the reason why narcissists can be attracted to you isn’t all about empaths being “an easy target” because your sensitivity and compassion seem easy to exploit to them, but it’s also because they know they’re missing that ability to connect with others genuinely and are so incredibly shallow once their farce of a persona is exposed.
However, there is no need for us to succumb to the cycle of being seduced and then escaping the narcissist over and over again. We need to recognize the areas in our life that are lacking sufficient boundaries. Empaths have trouble with boundaries due to the fact that we’re so naturally open and have a natural insight that is praised by others, so why would we shut that down? Dare I say, we may hide a the part of ourselves where our insightful abilities can be used to pry into the inner truths of others and manipulate them as we wish. But we’re not “bad” people because we do that…right? We’re not like the narcissists who manipulate people and ignore their conscience deliberately…Well…if we’re invading the emotional or psychic boundaries of others are we any different?
I’m not trying to guilt trip you, I promise. I believe Deborah has the same intention not to guilt trip anyone, but to address that common and vicious cycle of the empath-narcissist dichotomy.
Deborah, aka The Peculiar Daughter on YouTube, discusses her own shadow self, how it’s linked to her empath ability, how being an empath attracted narcissistic people, and how she put an end to that. Comment below what you think. I think there are many of us who go through this and perpetuate their pain rather than pursue their power. I admit that I’m one of them and am grateful for Deborah’s insights.
First and foremost, I found classical lofi and I love it. Second, I’ve accepted that my writing and creative career is being accomplished in chaotic baby steps. I make small achievements on a daily basis, I think, but thanks to the mental health issues I have, sometimes I forget that daily progress. There’s a lot … Continue reading Classical Lofi and Honest Chaos – [Just Me/Video]
I romanticized storms all my life, until I saw within myself a lightning strike shattering me. The fractals of my psyche flew out of reach. I felt their razor edges dig into the thinnest barriers of my consciousness, forcing me to scream, laugh, weep, rage, and die repeatedly. Those fractals seized my imagination at the … Continue reading Lightning Strike – [Stream of Consciousness Poem]
The delusions surrounding are endless. Layer after layer of “I have to do this” and “I need to do that” when it’s all really a choice in the end, my choice.
To recalibrate, I remind myself that it’s not about what I should or have or need to do, but what I want to do. Responsibility is only efficient if you’re working towards an achievement you genuinely desire.
All I want is to be, to speak, be heard, to create, be seen. That only requires a gentle and persistent attentiveness to the soul.
Over this exhausting week, I took moments to praise past creations I was hesitant to share. I’ve decided to follow through with exposing them again, rekindling my music and my poetry.
The research for my dark fantasy novel series has led to a nonfiction book idea actually. It was unexpected, but I think it was a necessary concept that can be manifested into a kind of “guide for creative spirits” thing. All things in time though.
Self-trust and being grounded is so important for me right now. I want to share how refocusing on those two things over and over again is such an excellent anchor that we tend to let go of when distractions occur. I recently listened to the podcast What in the Wyrd by Kelley Harrell, which is basically about life lessons we can attain from the elder futhark aka the Nordic runes used for divination and other magical uses. The most recent episode discussed accountability and soul tending relating to the rune thurisaz, which is all about how there are many types of powers that want to survive. Depending on the power, the extent at which we try to keep that power alive can be out of desperation or integrity or whatever. That also depends on how efficient our soul tending is. Going back to my point, self-trust and being grounded keeps one’s inner power alive and burning, but sometimes us creatives forget that.
I write, I create, and I am because I’m aspiring to stop straying away from myself and forgetting my power to the point that it ends up dying. I don’t want to go back there. Never again.
So the term “empath” has been overused lately and I’m worried it’s starting to lose its significance due to how desensitized people are to emotion and showing sympathy towards others. Sympathy and empathy are not exactly the same, but are closely related. In addition, those who are skeptical about the power of emotion elevating to a psychic level have flagged the term “empath” as another way to con people with phenomena we can’t explain yet. However, there are empaths who experience the emotions of others so strongly that it does elevate to physical pain. It’s not at all the same as being offended or “being too emotional”, even though empaths are known for their heightened sensitivity.
I wrote about how all empaths have the potential for psychic empowerment for the sake of informing other empaths who either want to explore the psychic avenue or start finding ways to ground themselves. Whether they want to believe in psychic abilities or not, skepticism will not encourage an empath to understand what’s happening to them. In fact, they’ll just feel more ostracized and be ridiculed for “trying to be special”.
First of all, that sounds like a cool title for…something.
Second, synchronicities are nothing new for me. I really don’t care who thinks it’s all just coincidental silliness. I care more about the signs themselves. Numbers are more direct, but words, phrases, or pictures are a bit obscure. I’ve been getting signs about London and the UK since March.
Let’s discuss what a synchronicity is in general real quick. I recently found a post that sums up what most of us see when we first run into them:
Like I said on the post, this has been happening to me for five years. Numbers I’m used to, but when it’s a word, specifically a location, that often means I’m going to be heading there or should be trying to get there as soon as I can. It first happened with Seattle, which significantly changed my life (that’s for another blog post). So what’s happening in London or the UK in general? No idea AND I have no idea how I’d get there.
So I do kind of wonder if maybe it’s a person or a company? But it’s gotta be the city, right? I’d love to go. Don’t know how it’ll happen, but maybe I’ll manifest the funds and accessibility to get there.
Just wanted to share this experience. Synchronicity is a strange phenomena that few understand because “coincidence” is more convenient. Why can’t coincidence be meaningful?
Celebrate your power today. Harvest all the progress you’ve made so far in this year and years before. You may light a candle or make a bonfire today and tomorrow; just don’t forget to tap into the fire inside yourself. Let it grow, let it shine, let it burn. Let it keep you warm as daylight wanes.
To those in the Southern Hemisphere, have a blessed Imbolc. The light on your side is growing. Welcome it.
The energy from the reason and this season isn’t about “positivity”. It’s about empowerment and confidence. We spent a good deal in Cancer season reflecting on many of the deep wounds our inner child went through with a cameo from father Capricorn to help us stand on our two feet again. Now it’s time to march on. The wounds are healing and we’re stronger now. It’s time to fucking show that off, but not for attention’s sake, for my sake.
Shit lol. My cynicism really likes canceling out self-worth wtf. This came to me after meditating with malachite and burning some sage in the space, by the way.
In my last post I discussed practicality and how that’s been helping me with the recent events that have happened with my room being flooded and all. I haven’t felt the need to try to push myself towards a positive look on everything, but rather just a productive view.
But my tarot reading and rune casting this morning basically said: “Yeah, a lot of inconveniences and obstacles have been coming up and it’s obviously aggravating…but it’s going to turn out for the better! There’s a lot of awesomeness ahead!” And I wish I could say I wasn’t trying to be cynical…but yeah. I thought the energy was so weird. I knew the message was genuine, but I really, really wasn’t feeling it. I spent most of the day wondering why I got such a high energy reading. Well, it’s Leo season. This is “believe in yourself” season. It’s “time to shine” season. Even though I’m a Leo Rising, my Aquarius energy outweighs it lol. And it’s just…strange.
I felt it too. There’s a balance in play right now to make it so the light and dark are not only balanced, but also cooperating. We’ve neglected the cycle of life, death, and rebirth for too long now. We won’t let certain traditions die and let new things grow. We won’t give innovation and change a chance because we’re told it’s a terrifying process that no one is strong enough to handle. You can’t “love and light” your way out of this change. Love is in darkness too; a nurturing love that sees your truest, rawest self and takes in every iota of who you are with acceptance. Your inner truth is in the darkness; your deepest secrets are in the darkness; your greatest passions are in the darkness. Your nature started in the dark, in the womb, and when you were fully grown you were born. As you live now, you’re going through cycles of being born and reborn in different ways, but we’re encouraged to shame the times of needed rest or letting go of something that no longer serves us. Change and the unknown can be frightening, but exploring the unknown, the mysteries that dominate in the dark, is necessary and healing.
The energy we’re feeling right now exists to encourage intuition and self-trust. The darkness eclipsing the full moon is the perfect visual example of the light of the full moon resonating while navigating in the dark. Although this lunar eclipse was partial, it must’ve still been a beautiful thing to witness. Now we can identify with it. You have the power to get through your own darkness and the darkness surrounding. The darkness isn’t an “evil” thing that you should be ashamed of. Darkness and light become evil if one chooses to make it so. Your shadow is who you are and understanding ALL of who you are is what allows you to be free. That’s when you’ll shine.
That may sound paradoxical because The Dark Goddess often is…