Thank you for the feedback on the synchronicity numbers article. Some of the images in the article kept repeating themselves so I have to revise that and then I’ll upload the article again with the link provided.

I know that hearing about mindfulness and staying in the present can be bombarding from time to time, so let me just get something off my chest.

Remaining in the present isn’t some forced positivity bullshit. Just now, before writing this, I was about to make myself do work I didn’t want to do. In that moment I was feeling grumpy and tired because I was just out seeing a movie with family and my introverted ass was already drained from going out yesterday AND I’m going to have to go out again later tonight. So right when I get home I start adulting and after taking care of what I knew needed to be done, I almost pushed myself into doing something extra, which was leading to another extra thing…and another.

I took a beat to recognize how I really felt: I’m reaching mental and emotional exhaustion and with the energy I have left, I want to do something I enjoy. When I do something I enjoy, and do it alone, I become recharged. So I took a selfie that I liked and shut down all the other extra things I was about to drain myself with. What I love to do is have a quiet moment to myself to express myself, whether it be through my amateur photography, blogging, or standing outside and just enjoying Lammas, which is exactly what I’m going to do next.

Just to let all the cynics out there know, being mindful or being in the present moment fucking works. It prevents you from wasting your time on things that can wait.

It may not look it, but I’m actually really relaxed…

Grr! Well I gave myself a deadline to increase the pressure and complete this first draft. I am actually really close to the end…I just can’t write fast enough. But that’s okay. I was a bit worried that if I got into the habit of putting off my own deadline, I would inevitably just never have it done. I know I’m not procrastinating with this project. I’m so close. My mind just won’t work fast enough, even when I have a great writing flow going on.

Words Written Today: 2301 words
Current Word Count Total: 105,243 words

I did successfully finish a chapter at least….ugh. I just wanted to do more.

See this is what I mean…I shouldn’t beat myself up for this. I’ll get it done. Giving myself an extension is okay. I’m not procrastinating. I’m making sure I do this right. But it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s a first draft. It’s fine.

I’ll announce my new deadline date when I think long and hard about it. It needs to be practical and pressuring.