A Plea to Death – [Poem]

A Plea to Death

Sweet Death, please forgive me.

I mistakenly thought of you intimately.

Your terrifying transformations

spur agonizing approximations

of how harshly grief will eat me.

Elemental Magic – Fire – [Poetry]

I just published a prose poem on the fire element. Please read.

Fire introduced himself as the fuel for survival and a slow killer. I thought thinking of his slow burns made my teeth chatter not realizing the cold surrounding was the chill of fear. I admired his trickster ways and wanted to learn from him, while I hid in the cold without knowing why.

When we met, I learned he and I were bipolar. The closer you get, the more you realize our true power. That scares people. Hell, it scared me. I was so afraid, I feared everything I touched when he proudly burned inside me, the purification singeing away the conditioning that convinced me he wasn’t safe. I wasn’t sure if this conditioning was my fault or if my psyche was programmed to never know the word “bravery”, but only saw its definition when he burned brightly in other souls and I obeyed my conditioning to see him as a sin I should never touch.

Read the rest of the poem here…

Be A Fool And Trust – [Poetry]

I needed to share a part of my prose poem “Prose of The Fool” again because… well, remember my earlier post saying that I’m bad at taking my own advice? Yeah. I needed to reread this because I am embarking in something kind of new to me and I’m terrified, but I must trust.

“When new experiences appear, we have the tendency to flood ourselves with expectations of the best, the worst, the fantastic, the horrific, but overall we’re hoping it all leads to a pragmatic ending: let me fall and land on my feet. Right now, you’re flooded with emotions and thoughts trying to keep your head above the high tide of your own soul. Ironically, you fear drowning before you’ve taken your step. Who knows what’s beyond that cliff. An ocean? A puddle? Land? You’ll never know as long as your foot hovers. To move to the new, you must trust.”

Read the whole poem here…

Art Source: The Fool from The Marigold Tarot

Confidence – [Poetry]

Forbidden flavors I was banned from tasting.

Warmth I was scolded for embracing.

A radiant fire gleaming as I fell

for an insecure god’s manipulative spell.

Blood boiling once I learned of dignity

while taught to drain it for undeserved pity.

Confidence became a mix of flavor,

sweet when pious, sour to the savior

who wanted to save me from myself,

condemning autonomy as an agent of Hell.

Lying – [Poem]

Unsure if my immobilization

was inspired by one-sided conversation

where you’re pushing, pushing me down

asking me how I ended up on the ground.

“It’s my fault,” I say, “I keep falling.”

Breathing in dust, my brain is stalling.

You command me to walk,

my feet drag and drop

until I see a cliff,

like a true escapist,

and pretend to fall again.

Another lying breath.

Another fall closer to death.

– Kris Leliel

Read another poem: The Prose of the Fool or Peril

Or let me read to you: The Monster Within

Prose of The Fool – [Prose Poem]

The first step is the hardest. Could it be because there’s no more land beneath your feet after that first step? The dog is barking with urgency, while your heart is beating with passion, and your foot hovers over a ledge taunting gravity and fate. Calling you The Fool isn’t an insult to your bravery nor an applause. You are pure adrenaline, you are the heart falling into the stomach, the stomach jumping into the throat. You might be naive or tired of everyone calling you what you’re not. You’re just The Fool facing this new beginning that may have been by Chance, but that’s no reason to pass it up.

Click here to read the rest of the poem.

I’m so honored that Vocal.Media put this poem on the homepage as a Staff Pick! It really boosted my spirit for further tarot-based prose poetry.

The After -[Poem]

Under a blanket of white

starts the eternal sleep;

A trance with transportation

towards a new dimension deep.

As I release my shell,

my soul I get to keep.

A new journey birthed

from the experience I reaped.

It’s easier to hope for nothing, yet I eagerly embrace the unknown something.

Simply – [Prose Poem]

I’ve genuinely been pursuing calmness in this life because I finally detected the chaotic pattern of my many histories. To keep myself busy in the lives of others and let them rule my ambitions, to hold to anger and revenge as a permanent resolve to my misery; these are the patterns of my self-perpetuating pain from refusing to face the emptiness inside me. That emptiness is a different chaos that simply is; a gateway to my deepest inner truth. I am empty like a room that was robbed, a blank slate. Tried to paint the walls with bloodlust, but the rage doesn’t stick. Revenge just wears the walls down. Letting other people come in and paint the room only upset me and I tolerated it because I kept blaming myself for being robbed. Everyone left when I remembered my power, my worth, and my ability to forgive. I have no more rage to paint with. I am still, like the room, empty, blank. I simply am.

It’s time to relish in the calm and keep things simple. I’ll fill the room with who I am. I’m going to embrace this vulnerability and paint with my true colors. I’m not worried about who comes to stay or leaves. In this calmness, this different chaos that cultivated my freedom and autonomy, I’m going to pursue an environment where I belong; a home. The love of home can never be robbed from me because it becomes me, simply.

Typos – A Poem For Writers Who Get It

They’re a thing.

They happen.

They’re survivable,

yet

embarrassing.

It’s the equivalent

of shooting yourself in the foot,

bleeding all over the floor,

but still walking around,

limping even,

and not processing the pain for a long while,

too long,

until you stub your toe,

look down at your ridiculous foot

with a giant, gaping hole,

and see blood everywhere.

Then you wonder,

“How did I not know?”

You can go to the hospital for your foot,

but doctors won’t heal your dignity.

Ugh.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.