The Hunger

Closer and closer to realizing my dreams as reality. Today is 11/11, a really special day with a very inspiring energy. I’m ravenous for creation, determined to publish and distribute my work. I truly feel like I’m finally going in the right direction and simultaneously knowing that going any direction will benefit me somehow.

This is a just a special time. Manifestation isn’t a joke or a fancy way of playing pretend and hoping all your dreams come true in a blink. It requires patience and emotional fortitude along with a strong belief in your developing work. To me, it’s a hunger and I am no longer starving. I am providing for myself each passing day.

I had a rough night, but such a peaceful morning because I remembered that I’m free to live how I want thanks to this hunger and the development of my own self-trust.

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The Practice

There are so many delusions out there that want us to believe that certain experiences, especially healing and success, can be achieved instantly. I’m not saying some instantaneous things happen in life, but too many of us think that the lack of an instantaneous event is a type of curse or punishment for whatever reason. The development of gaining any kind of achievement is a process; I like to call it practice.

Reminding myself that I am in a state of practice is an encouraging way to remain teachable. Being teachable also increased my gratitude for the resources that mentor me by simply existing. My practice is a natural patience that helps me to progress towards my achievements and give me time to appreciate where I am in the present moment. This practice isn’t always a peaceful flow (which is obvious because without disruption in life, what’s the point?) and I’m grateful for the unknown elements and the unexpected obstacles. Well, I’m not instantly grateful. I get irritated still. I rant and rave. I jump on a social media platform and express frustration or make it into a poem, song, short story, etc. and that’s when it happens. In the friction of my frustration with the obstacle and the unknown, I create a spectacular new opportunity for myself. That is inspiration and acting on that inspiration is a practice.

Practice is not about perfection. The unknown and unexpected make things wonderfully messy and bring disastrous intrigue that make my heart race and my mind fluster. I anchor myself with a pen on paper, my finger gliding over a keyboard, a graphite pencil on a sketchbook, or with sound soaring from my throat. The practice is merging these instantaneous inspirations into long-term investments. Manifestation.

I adore being in a state of practice. It gives me permission to be human and just bleed.

Featured Image Art: Quando il Demone Chiama by L-E-N-T-E-S-C-U-R-A on Deviantart

Transformations and New Beginnings

I hope everyone had a wonderful Samhain. I witnessed many changes within myself and around me. This past sabbat had a very initiatory energy to me. This technically is the “new year” for pagans, so it makes sense.

I spend my sabbats very privately, especially this most recent one. Even though I’ve only been pagan for about a year and am still learning a lot, Samhain has been a special day for me even during childhood. I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween growing up, but the day has always felt special to me. I know now I was just tapping into some spirit work abilities and those experiences really influence my writing.

I’ve had to think more carefully about my creative projects. Writing about Hermeticism, past lives, and other topics are still on the list, but I’ve been putting some unnecessary pressure on myself to write “high quality content”, which is the goal of course, but high quality doesn’t mean I should be stressing myself out over making sure I write something that will be approved by everyone who comes across it. Sometimes you’re going to create something or express yourself in some way that others won’t like and gladly mock. Instead of interpreting that as some kind of punishment or scolding, it should be interpreted as experience. Simple as that. My sensitive soul makes things complicated for the sake of avoiding the “experience” and I’m ready to start breaking that habit. That honestly is the main reason why I post articles/essays so slowly. I shouldn’t be rushing myself, and I don’t, but for this to be a substantial career as I write my novel and work on other projects, I need to be serious about writing more frequently.

This is just where my mind has been lately. I’m diving into my unconscious mind and investigating what’s really holds me back from allowing myself to reach success, to create, to attract abundance, to just be. Uprooting the excuses I’ve validated for so long is a process. It’s not very fun, but it’s very necessary.

Please expect more from me and I’ll do my best to stop disappearing for a week randomly, but I can’t make any promises. For those who follow my work, thank you for your patience.

Rage Writing

Rage writing is when something angers you so much, you grab the writing method closest to you and start creating a story based on the event that you’re pissed at.

It’s good fun, yes, but I find it most fulfilling when I reread what I’ve created and reflected upon the theme later. The reflection makes the ending and details in between very clear and solidifies the theme.

Rage writing is also a great way to make sure you write more frequently, have a healthy outlet for your emotion, and process that anger. I’m not saying you’ll turn out being a better person than you were before or that you should try to write a happy ending to your rage-written story; but I am saying, at least for myself, that this is a satisfactory method of expression and it’s going to feel damn good to publish it in time.

A Few Days Off

Although I’ve been trying to be active on social media, I haven’t been making blog posts lately mostly due to not being in a right state of mind; by right, I mean balanced enough to write something that’s relative to my mission. So, apologies for the absence, but I see those of you who visit and read older posts. Thank you for the support. You’re a blessing.

I’ll be aiming to get back on track with blog posts, article writing, novel updates and more, but I’ll need some R&R for a bit longer (hoping this persistent exhaustion and the headaches stop). Thanks for understanding.

Just A Reminder

You are never alone if you remember and believe that you are connected to all things. Trust moments of solitude so you’ll have time to ground yourself and feel that connection. You’ll find who you are there and those who need to strengthen their connection with you shall find you, just as you are searching for them. We just need moments of silence sometimes so we can hear the call or be still in the chaos so we can feel what direction we’re being pulled in.

You are never alone, but when you feel alone, just be still.

Simply – [Prose Poem]

I’ve genuinely been pursuing calmness in this life because I finally detected the chaotic pattern of my many histories. To keep myself busy in the lives of others and let them rule my ambitions, to hold to anger and revenge as a permanent resolve to my misery; these are the patterns of my self-perpetuating pain from refusing to face the emptiness inside me. That emptiness is a different chaos that simply is; a gateway to my deepest inner truth. I am empty like a room that was robbed, a blank slate. Tried to paint the walls with bloodlust, but the rage doesn’t stick. Revenge just wears the walls down. Letting other people come in and paint the room only upset me and I tolerated it because I kept blaming myself for being robbed. Everyone left when I remembered my power, my worth, and my ability to forgive. I have no more rage to paint with. I am still, like the room, empty, blank. I simply am.

It’s time to relish in the calm and keep things simple. I’ll fill the room with who I am. I’m going to embrace this vulnerability and paint with my true colors. I’m not worried about who comes to stay or leaves. In this calmness, this different chaos that cultivated my freedom and autonomy, I’m going to pursue an environment where I belong; a home. The love of home can never be robbed from me because it becomes me, simply.