Hello,

I hope you all are well. I’m finally getting back into a good working groove again for my art projects and my novel, which reminded me about how much I miss blogging about my progress/research.

Starting with the progress with my novel series, what really helped was using a cork board and sticky notes to jot out the main plot. My first draft was written with more of a pantser mentality. I kept beating myself up for it before, but now that I’ve accepted that I’m at where I’m at and there’s no changing that, I can lean more into my plotter side.

Using a cork board and sticky notes to track the plot/character arc of one of my protagonists has helped tremendously. I think seeing the story’s progression through one character’s point of view and having more of a visual/tangible mode of seeing my work brought it more to life. Specifically, I was able to pinpoint how many other characters cross the path of this protagonist along with what areas and events they come to interact with whether they expect it or not. It’s an interesting process because initially I was down on myself for not plotting more for my first draft, but it was pointless to think that way. I’m learning to trust my creative process more and I’ve accepted how chaotic it is, but it’s also has a natural order to it. In other words, there’s an order to my chaos and I should never have compared myself to other authors/writers to begin with. It does help to learn about the creative process of others, but at the end of the day, just do your own thing.

As for the Russian/Slavic witchcraft venture, I previously posted of a podcast I listen to where author Natasha Helvin describes her own experiences. I’ve been reading both of her books Russian Black Magic and Slavic Witchcraft. Both are intriguing reads and are very inspiring for a specific character of my novel, which I hope I can capture well with the utmost respect of the craft.

Here’s the Instagram of one fellow writer I follow who reminded me of cork board plotting.

Now, for my art projects. I focused on my poetry collection for most of the winter season. While working, I kept having these visual ideas being paired with my poems. I’ve done photography with poetry before when I was younger (like a teenager), but looking back on my creations in the past, it’s not really up to my standard of quality today, although I love that I tried my best back then. So what’s the next level? Photomanipulation. I’ve been taking lessons with photoshop, photography, and digital art to see if I can bring my dark fantasy vision and poetry to life through a darker medium. The surrealists and dark self-portraiture artists of the photoshop composite world are amazing.

Danny Bittencourt is a Brazilian visual poet whose work I’ve fallen in love with.

Another is Flóra Borsi, whose fine art self-portraits are surreal and captivating.

I hope to enter this world one day, so I’m working hard. Diving into the world of photoshop and photography was very unexpected while working on my poetry. At first it felt like I was distracting myself from the main goal of the project. Quite the opposite; this is exactly what I’ve been wanting to do since I was a teenager. I don’t want the poetry collection to just be in a book. I want each work to be a masterpiece.

Here’s to ambition and the crazy chaos of creativity.

Be well.

  • Leliel

Featured Image: © Danny Bittencourt

First, I just want to say I’m really grateful for all the visitors I get on blog, who I’m noticing are mostly occult and metaphysics enthusiasts! I’m glad my posts have caught your attention and I hope they were helpful.

Second, there have been a lot of website changes. I’m trying to polish the platform so my future works will be better displayed. There was just too much clutter before, but hopefully the investments and changes I’ve made will bring clarity to my vision for Authentikei.

Thirdly, along with my psychology studies, I’ve been doing a lot of pagan and occult research that I hope to blog about soon, but when I’m not studying, I’m usually writing poetry, my novel, searching for aesthetic inspiration ravenously, or just…thinking about everything. I swear I’m going to make time for more blogging/article/ social media content very soon. In fact, I’ll share the writing sources I run into soon.

Lastly, I’ve been feeling the healthiest I have ever been and I’m so grateful. Actually my gratitude for my life has been exploding and all I want to do is share it with you, but I know that making high quality work requires patience, focus, introspection and adaptability. Although I’m busy, you’re more than welcome to chat with me on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or Instagram and you can take a look at my Pinterest too if we have the same aesthetic vibe.

I hope you’re all well, safe, and healthy. I can’t wait to show you my work when it’s time.

KL

In simple conversations with others, I mute myself unintentionally…

…and it feels involuntary because I’m the type that wants to spill my heart’s contents. I just feel like when I’m around the majority of the people in my life, they have shown me what they really care or don’t care about through rejection, belittlement, invalidation, and sardonic attitudes assaulting what is not just important to me, but also accurate. So like many sensitives, I choose silence while my eyes tear up and my heart aches and my stomach churns and my mind screams. 

This became a painful habit of my people pleasing persona. The consequence was volcanic, but luckily for me the pen could channel the magma within and somehow transcend from being raw and unruly to becoming divine and sculpted. It was the first poem I wrote about how much I loved Spring in 5th grade where I realized I was being listened to. It was my first song about friendship where I realized I was being heard. So my poetic career plodded on while traversing through goth culture, my parent’s divorce, going to college early, losing toxic friends and becoming the toxic friend. 

I didn’t pick up the pen as much when depression won me over, but I’d reach for it in desperate times to avoid carving into my skin, since that too was belittled, invalidated, mocked, and only a few times led friends to beg me to never go too far. 

I’ve teased death a time or two, but our relationship is so much more fulfilling now that my poetic purpose has been embraced by my artistic and fragmented soul. That volcanic energy would cool sometimes and seal the broken parts me rearranged by new philosophies and mysticism that called the pen to my hand again, reminding me, especially when I’m erupting, that poetry is permission to simply be. 

Kris Leliel


photo of woman carrying a cardboard

No Justice, No Peace – [News/Website Update]

The page that was once “Stand Up – BLM/LGBTQ+” is now No Justice, No Peace, which provides resources, volunteer/donation opportunities, and more regarding the institutional and system prejudices being perpetuated in the USA. The page has been updated to include the Stop Asian Hate movement. I will soon be adding sources regarding how you can […]

I enjoyed my Yule then jumped right back into work. The couple of weeks off was really needed and one week to just focus on work helped as well.

Blog posts and updates are coming back. And more is coming…

I hope you all are well.

– Kris Leliel

I think I just want to drown in poetry for my next creative project. I don’t know about you, dear readers, but November has been transformative for me. I’ve been chaotic and melancholy with mild intervals of maturity due to retrospective divination sessions and meditations. And my Thanksgiving was…I suppose 60% okay. I observe the National Day of Mourning protest of the Native American tribes each year out of respect for the history behind this day.

Please donate to the Navajo and Hopi COVID19 Relief Fund.

I took time to read some Native American literature too. Wendy Rose’s powerful words got to me.

And with that poem and her statement about how poetry helped her, I was reminded I’ve why I’ve been writing poetry since the 5th grade. My heart is stirring many things right now, mostly because of old and new pains. Poetry is the best medicine for me right now.

Also, thank you to those who have reacted, shared, and commented on my excerpt of “Lightning Strike”. I’m sincerely grateful for your support.

Be well.


Stream my cover of “Love’s A Burden”


Slavic Witchcraft ft. Natasha Helvin [Research/Video]

Doing some research on Russian and Slavic witchcraft led me to this wonderful and informative podcast by Magick and Mediums. Just wanted to share and hope you enjoy. Also, I’m currently reading Natasha Helvin’s two books Slavic Witchcraft and Russian Black Magic.

First and foremost, I found classical lofi and I love it.

Second, I’ve accepted that my writing and creative career is being accomplished in chaotic baby steps. I make small achievements on a daily basis, I think, but thanks to the mental health issues I have, sometimes I forget that daily progress. There’s a lot about my mind that I’m still learning. What I have learned has completely disrupted every single one of my schedules. NaNoWriMo? Only lasted a few days. Poetry reading? Nearly forgot it existed. Psychology degree? Who cares. Eating healthy? Why?

Yeah. It got that bad and then some. It happens though. Actually, this is what my entire life has always been like and when I look back at how my literal hurricane brain somehow achieved previous goals, I’m impressed and baffled really. When my hurricane brain goes full throttle, I beat myself up about it and that is currently a hard habit to break. I long for structure when it comes to my life goals, even though I am a lover of chaos because it inspires me. I guess I have to accept that there’s a method to my madness now. Even my therapist told me I’m trying to force structure on things that aren’t needed, and my rebuttal was, “Dude, it’s my career though,” and my therapist replied with, “Sounds like you need a partner/help,” which I laugh at because who in their right mind would be able to handle me? I can’t even handle me…I know there are those crazy agents out there who are willing to help artists of all sorts promote themselves and their insanity, but I can’t really imagine anyone like that for myself. That doesn’t mean it can’t happen, but, you know…If it happens, it happens.

So yeah, that’s me currently. I’m going to continue understanding myself, grounding myself, and when another creative project is completed, I’ll let you know.

The most recent completion is finally releasing my cover of “Love’s A Burden” by the metal symphonic band Beyond The Black. It’s a dark electronic wonder and I love it. Many thanks if you listen and subscribe to my YouTube. If you don’t have YouTube in your country, I will upload the video on the website soon. You can find the music on Spotify, Tidal, Apple Music, GooglePlay and other digital music distributors.

Just Checking In – [Just Me]

First, I just want to say I’m really grateful for all the visitors I get on blog, who I’m noticing are mostly occult and metaphysics enthusiasts! I’m glad my posts have caught your attention and I hope they were helpful. Second, there have been a lot of website changes. I’m trying to polish the platform […]

Website Changes

Why must WordPress be so…the way it is? *sigh* Well, made some site changes. More to come… KL

Poetry Is Permission – Just Me

In simple conversations with others, I mute myself unintentionally… …and it feels involuntary because I’m the type that wants to spill my heart’s contents. I just feel like when I’m around the majority of the people in my life, they have shown me what they really care or don’t care about through rejection, belittlement, invalidation, […]

After such an intense year of repeated exposure of people, either famous or not, and their ugly under bellies, I expected that the people worship craze would decrease. How many Americans voted with the idea that “their saviors” will save a country so they won’t have to take any of the responsibility? How many celebrity personalities are still being defended by their fans when that person should be accountable for their actions? How many of our friends and family have been so emotionally manipulative in our lives that we surrender to it, thinking it’s the norm to have those people and their interactions with us define who we are? How long is this going to go on?

I think this kind of mentality varies between cultures, but overall, let’s stop surrendering the power we have, used to uncover and nurture our true selves, to influences that don’t really know or understand us. Let’s stop believing that our desire to give and support another is equivalent with a permanent contract, where you owe them your life forever.

Some people have the genuine heart to serve, and even they are aware of their dignity, exercising enough self-respect to know what to nurture in their life and what poisons to let go. People worship is one of those poisons. Know yourself and care for yourself so you can care for others in a way that helps you maintain your autonomy. I believe you would love so much in life with abandon if you cultivated this.

Be well.


Sonnet by Alice Moore Dunbar-Nelson (Artist Recognition)

I had not thought of violets late,The wild, shy kind that spring beneath your feetIn wistful April days, when lovers mateAnd wander through the fields in raptures sweet.The thought of violets meant florists’ shops,And bows and pins, and perfumed papers fine;And garish lights, and mincing little fopsAnd cabarets and soaps, and deadening wines.So far from […]

In the Reading Room by David Ferry (Artist Recognition)

Alone in the library room, even when othersAre there in the room, alone, except for themselves:There is the illusion of peace; the air in the roomIs stilled; there are reading lights on the tables,Looking as if they’re reading, looking as ifThey’re studying the text, and understanding, Shedding light on what the words are saying;But under […]

The Cave by Paul Tran – (Artist Recognition)

Someone standing at the mouth hadthe idea to enter. To go further than light or language couldgo. As they followedthe idea, light and language followed like two wolves—panting, hearing themselvespanting. A shapeless scentin the damp air … Keep going, the idea said. Someone kept going. Deeper and deeper, they sawothers had been there. Others had left […]