So, it hit me recently that I’m overburdening myself with expectations…again. I’ve been overthinking what it means to have a platform for your creative projects and it stresses me out when I compare myself to others or degrade the resources I already have that will help me achieve my goals. After a few deep breaths, I’ve realized that even though I’m extremely introverted and have a difficult time reaching out, I’m going to make sure I set aside time to show more of who I am and how my work has been going at the least on a monthly basis. It’s just…so hard sometimes to convince yourself that there is an audience out there for your work and even if they don’t know you personally, they may care. Actually, even the people who know me personally aren’t sure what I’m doing. I hide everything due to the great fear that no one will understand. Yet art isn’t just about understanding the artist. It’s about experiencing their own creative expression. Either you’ll harmonize with it or you won’t. That’s all it comes down to.

So, updates on me. First off, social media. I do have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and YouTube channel. (subscribe please?)

Second. I actually have a song released called “Storm Magick”. It’s not on streaming or download sites at the moment, but it is on my YouTube channel. I’ll have it back in stores momentarily.

One of my dreams is to create a soundtrack for my novel and this is one of the songs. I’ll definitely be releasing new original music, but I want to go back to covers like I did in the past. I learned so much about recording and mixing when I did covers and I know I can apply that experience to my originals. *crosses fingers*

Third, I’ve been messing around with acrylic paints and have had a lot of fun. It’s such a great outlet. I still plan to show sketches and character designs for my novel and I will share them on here as promised. That will mostly be digital work I do on Clip Studio Paint. Traditional painting, however, will be just for me.

Lastly, WordPress has been such a great platform that allows me to connect with other writers, artists, witches, pagans, mythology and history nerds, and more. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not as diligent as I am with other social media platforms. The monthly basis update I was talking about earlier will be dedicating myself to blogging and just expressing who I am for at least a solid week (starting today). It’s a challenge for myself really, but if I can connect with others as I try this out, that would be lovely and a real confidence booster.

I think that’s it for now. I have to admit that being so diligent with my artistic career, trying to build a lifestyle where I can pursue my passions without selling my soul to someone else in exchange for basic financial needs is very stressful. Am I grateful for where I am at right now? Most definitely. I have a lot of support and care. Persisting to attain the success I most desire is up to me though.

I can’t hide anymore.

My first novel will be about loss and gain. Death and life. There’s a sweet spot in the middle of those concepts. Progress. Rebirth. It just hit me, at this moment, after shuffling some tarot cards contemplating whether I’m on the right path with my creative projects. It’s representing how I came to recognizing the middle path. I can’t just focus on what I’ve achieved and how I’ve grown. I have to dive deep into the moments of loss, suffering, suffocation, misery, grief, suicidal ideation, homicidal ideation, that deep, deep pain that found art and clung to it so I wouldn’t throw punches at others and myself. That sorrow, that darkness wants to speak. It’s words will overlap with the light because even the light side of my life isn’t the opposite of sorrow. It’s not happiness. It’s the defensive. The protection. The facade that blinds. The ego that smiles. The consciousness that flickered at the sight of certain truths and epiphanies, like realizing light doesn’t erase darkness. Life doesn’t erase death. What was gained doesn’t mean something was lost. My light is a shitty bandaid. My darkness is a soft, cool pool that can either drown me or make me. In my novel, I’ll explain how I found the middle of light and dark through a protagonist that hears the calling like I did. How I took the first step to realizing true power and true healing, the stability and creation of the self, is found in the almost indiscernible median of the conscious and the subconscious, the light and dark, the gains and losses.

My novel is about a life dying. My novel is about taking that first step towards transformation. This is the start of the Spirit Strings series.

My recent article about Faith and Hermeticism has received some good feedback from those knowledgeable of hermeticism. Basically, the article is confusing, poorly worded, and misinformed. I agree. Sometimes you work hard on something and it turns out to not hit the mark. I understand why it didn’t. I wasn’t specific enough and failed at narrowing my topic down to faith specifically. Additionally, I think roping hermeticism into it was a mistake too. I am learning about the hermetic teachings and I thought there was a connection there, but clearly something is off according to audiences that do know hermeticism fairly well. I’ll definitely revise the article, but I’m so incredibly grateful for the feedback. Not only was I reminded of my past mistakes, but now know what to look for in future esoteric research.

If you’d like to confuse yourself and give some feedback, the article is here.

On the plus side, I’m glad my organization of my content was decent enough for my audience to get that I’m addressing that faith is more than it seemed, which led them to question if faith is even a quality of hermeticism. All in all (lol) revision is needed. Thank you to all who read.

Many thanks from the occult/hermeticism discord sever that gave feedback. You didn’t hold back, and I’m very grateful for that.

All the writing that I do is for personal exploration and for my upcoming novel series. I recently finished an article about faith and Hermetic philosophy/religion, which I’ll share tomorrow and yowza did it take up a lot of time, but it was such a blast. I don’t regret living this way for a second. When I started writing for Vocal.Media, it was kind of hard for me to define myself and as a Metaphysical Article Writer, because, like all writers, I wasn’t sure if my articles were succinct enough in evidence or information or that they were too direct or didn’t have that engaging of a tone. There’s definitely room for improvement, but writing for Vocal.Media was sort of like a desperate grasp at making sure my writing career was intact while I work towards getting my novel series out. It was a fortunate opportunity I stumbled upon and I’m determined to make a living off of along with being a novelist, musician, and hopefully a decent artist.

My writing will continue to focus on the metaphysical, the occult, and beyond, but as I hone in on the end of the first draft of my novel, I’ll be preparing to advertise the series through art and music. This is a very independent career track and sometimes I doubt if I’ll even prove to myself that it’s plausible to live this way. I mean, others have proved it, but I know they had to work ridiculously hard. I don’t mind the challenge, I just need to remember that the results of my efforts are abundant. Progress is in every word I type, every melody in my head, every vision I try to sketch on paper. I have to remember that; otherwise, I’ll completely neglect everything I accomplished so far.

I guess this post was really just a pat on the back for myself and a reminder for me not to obsess over the statistics of my Vocal.Media articles and count the pennies until I can make my first withdrawal. It certainly does take a while to earn payment when you’re starting out on this, but like I said, I enjoy the challenge.

If you want to be awesome and help a starving writer out, checking out my articles would be the dopest thing you can do. If not for me, at least do it for my cat, Avery. Just click on this block of text then click on something that looks interesting to you.

Please read my article on empathic experiences and how they can link to psychic abilities: https://futurism.media/why-would-empathy-make-me-psychic

Even though I wasn’t aware of what a shaman was when I explored psychic abilities as a kid, it all started with understanding empathy, learning about auras, and balancing reason with instinct. That’s basically the starting point of shamanism and if you feel called to it, you should go for it. 

From the article: Though many people don’t find psychics to be logically reliable, it’s definitely encouraged that you marry your emotion with logic so you stabilize yourself and find your intuition to be more trustworthy. Having the potential to be psychic isn’t a synonym for losing emotional or mental stability; it’s simply the chance to perceive your life in a different way. You may gain greater depth in the personalities you cross and become more understanding of the people who hurt you or why you have certain people in your life. You’ll also have the opportunity to reflect upon yourself by noticing how your emotional and mental energy is far more sensitive and powerful than you thought.

I’m pretty sure that, while studying Hermeticism (The Kybalion specifically), I read the question “Why does the Universe do what it does?” and after a long and extremely complicated explanation, the conclusive answer was: “Because it can. Speculation is futile.” After all the build up, I laughed pretty hard. Just think of all the people you know who you’ve asked “Why do you do this?” and they answer “Because I can.” lmao!

#IsThisTheAnswerToTheSecretsOfTheUniverse #OrWasHermesJustAnOverthinkingSmartass

Just wanted to share lol. Also, my head hurts.

“The Middle Way is a more complex pathway, a liminal space, on the boundary land of order and chaos, where creativity happens. It is the place where you are neither obeying the rules (Right) nor violating the rules (Left). When you merely blindly obey or violate the rules, that means you are taking the rules seriously and, thus, are really playing the same game. But when you are both obeying and violating the rules, that means you are rather challenging and questioning the rules, understanding the degree to which the rules could be other than they are, no longer taking the rules seriously, even as you appreciate what can be done with the rules, especially good rules, and where play takes place for the sake of place, where truly new things are and can be born.” Source


Interesting take on the middle way. I’m going to be exploring it more for future articles and for personal exploration. If you want to read the full article, click “source”.

I’m just really proud of it so far. I have incredible insecurity when it comes to sketching out artistic plans. As it turns out, while I was having fun visualizing and sketching out the school, the insecurity drifted away. I suppose that’s the truth for most artistic projects, which is why I’ll do my best post my work, sloppy or not so sloppy on WordPress and put finalized creations on deviantArt.

Now that I’ve come near the end of my first draft, it’s time to flesh out the details and prepare it for publication. My dream print for the book is for final illustrations and analytical sketches to placed in the midst of a chapter. I think illustrations in fantasy and scifi books have been ignored nowadays and I hope to bring it back by creating illustrated editions of my series.

I’ll stay in touch. For now, here’s the first super sloppy look. You won’t even make much out of it, but I see everything and will make it all clear in due time.

– Authentikei