The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily or mental and spiritual

John Stuart Mill – On Liberty

Hello again.

I’m happy to make a quiet return to blogging and sharing the progress of my creative projects. I’ve been bursting with a lot of ideas, but also trying to slow down so I can focus on one idea or project at a time. Lately, I’ve been thinking about governance for the sake of worldbuilding for my dark fantasy novel and short story series. Exploring the philosophies behind various political agendas led me to think about what freedom truly means. As an American, I can admit that my country feeds the illusion of freedom and we reinforce that narrative with the way we treat one another’s individualized issues with prejudice, apathy, ignorance, and insecurity. We do this explicitly and implicitly, often not knowing which is which. It’s no surprise that feeding an illusion will inevitably make you delusional if you’re not grounded with some kind of autonomy and self-trust. Returning to my writing, my thoughts and feelings about governance and the microcosm of its power found in our interactions with friends and family have been braided into my work. I’m just realizing this now as an American who has particular privileges and faces particular acts of oppression, and yet is struggling to believe that I’m free. The narratives about freedom fed to me as a child and the narratives fed to me today are so flimsy, yet build a harsh friction between my pursuit of living a free and fulfilling life because I’m not obeying the narratives; I can never be free the “right” way.

I took a few weeks off of social media and thoroughly enjoyed it. I remembered when social media came out when I was a teenager, I think, and didn’t even care about joining it until I heard that Amy Lee from Evanescence made a Twitter account (lol!). Many people phrase the use of social media as being flooded by too much information at once, which I agree with. We’re not flooded just by information, but also many personal narratives from people we don’t even know. Those who are opinionated and have strong personalities seem to dominate as icons and influencers in their relative niches. For a while I thought I wanted that, but the cost of having that kind of status also challenges what freedom is. I don’t like the pressure that comes with meeting the expectations of others nor surrendering the majority of my energy to staying in contact and interacting with people from many walks of life on a daily basis. Lol, I can barely handle going to the grocery store maneuvering around people and sometimes having to talk to them (#firstworldproblems). So taking this break from social media helped me to find the balance I need when it comes to loving all the chaos that is the internet and making sure I’m grounded enough to create. I’ve decided I’m going to continue spending less time on social media and use it for marketing purposes for the most part.

I call myself a mystic and creative spirit as the sub-headline of Authentikei, but I should just put “nocturnal antisocial hermit”. I’m happiest when I’m alone and creating, but when I do share more of my writing, my music, and more, I’ll happily engage with you and others because I’m also at my happiest when I find kindred souls who fancy the dark side. I’ve accepted that I’m a hermit and that to maintain this freedom, I have to be responsible enough to preserve my health, which is what freedom currently means to me, but I’m a hermit who is grateful for the online and real-life communities that resonate with me as they’re wonderful reminders that I’m not and never will be alone. As the proper guardian of my health, this is my choice and I’ll do whatever’s necessary to preserve this sacred freedom. Perhaps that sounds dramatic in regards to social media, but I can’t emphasize how important it is to me to make sure my time and energy is no longer commanded by the people who are apathetic and ignorant of my needs. I believe every creative spirit has that right.

Thank you for your time. Also, I wanted to share the philosophy video from Academy of Ideas that inspired this post.

Leliel.