I romanticized storms all my life, until I saw within myself a lightning strike shattering me. The fractals of my psyche flew out of reach. I felt their razor edges dig into the thinnest barriers of my consciousness, forcing me to scream, laugh, weep, rage, and die repeatedly. Those fractals seized my imagination at the most inconvenient of times and also so conveniently, like when I’m in front of a blank canvas or a blank screen or floating in silence and the agony pours from my fingers or my voice and temporarily, I’m relieved. Perhaps that romanticization lingers, but when I remember that lightning strike, I weep over all I’ve gained and all I’ve lost. It’s an endless confusion, an enchanting chaos; it’s a heartbreaking echo of what I know now as my greatest fear: instantaneous and concentrated instability without escape or hope.
Producing my cover of “Sleep” by MCR is going well. I wanted to share the videos I found that have inspired what kind of tone I’m planning for the song, but I’m going to start with Dade Brayant, a pianist cover artist who covers some our favorite emo, punk, metal, and rock bands from the […]
So, I’ve had a lot of projects in the past that are still in motion: a novel series, a short story series, poetry collections, self-portraiture, and music (cover songs and original music). But I have to be real with myself. I have to face the fact that it has been so difficult getting content out […]
First off, hope you all had a splendid holiday season. During the break I rested for the most part and then got into studying necromancy and veneficium (the poison path), which have been personal practices for my craft and research material for my novel series. Disclaimer: The following is not medical or psychological advice. I’m […]
Neglected for breathing my truth. Neglected for natural smiles. Neglected for tears over time. Neglected for a competitive will. Neglected for warmth turning cold. Neglected for protecting my soul. Neglected for a brain breaking involuntarily. Neglected for speaking of heartache. Neglected for acknowledging complexities. Neglected for fragile softness. Neglected for hardening after breaking. Neglected for […]
I’ve been quiet because of studying and working. But I’ll have updated soon. If you’re in the same place as me, best of luck on your finals. 💜🖤💜 Leliel