I romanticized storms all my life, until I saw within myself a lightning strike shattering me. The fractals of my psyche flew out of reach. I felt their razor edges dig into the thinnest barriers of my consciousness, forcing me to scream, laugh, weep, rage, and die repeatedly. Those fractals seized my imagination at the most inconvenient of times and also so conveniently, like when I’m in front of a blank canvas or a blank screen or floating in silence and the agony pours from my fingers or my voice and temporarily, I’m relieved. Perhaps that romanticization lingers, but when I remember that lightning strike, I weep over all I’ve gained and all I’ve lost. It’s an endless confusion, an enchanting chaos; it’s a heartbreaking echo of what I know now as my greatest fear: instantaneous and concentrated instability without escape or hope.
Prompt via The Life of Dee: Autumnal crafts for toddlers – give us ideas on what our little ones could make this season. I don’t have children. I’m not crafty. I wasn’t even allowed to do autumn crafts because when you’re raised by Christian parents, they think everything is a gateway to Satan. So I […]
It’s so important to have just one day completely stress free, but that’s not easy…like ever. Considering that many of us have been “grinding” so to speak either in the workforce or in school most of our lives, we can’t just say, “I’m relaxing now,” and boom! You’re chill AF. That’s not life. That’s not […]
Is luck on my side? Will my goals in life that can lead to success? Will my prosperity candle spell work? Not everything is guaranteed, but one thing is: change. Change. It’s chaotic, random, and often not noticed until it’s noticed. Lately, I’ve been exploring how my agnosticism and absurdism plays around with my mystic […]
For real?! This was my last post! Ugh! Well, I will show off two fun purchases to add some spook to my sketchbooks. I bought a spooky sticker pack and decorated one of my sketchbooks. I love it. Also, I’ve been enjoying the horror manga short story collection “Smashed” by Junji Ito. These stories have […]
Decorate your house for Autumn/Halloween – show us pics of your decor. Well what a coincidence. I was at the Spirit Halloween store recently looking for a fleece throw, but I couldn’t find any. Instead I found a bird’s skull and an iron key I want to use as a door knocker for decor and […]