Lately, I’ve been battling these intrusive thoughts I have about people. I think those of us with mild social anxiety tend to allow our personal realities orbit around the perceptions of others, even when we don’t agree with them. I guess I could even chalk that up to how I was raised. Even when you disagreed and expressed how you really feel, you’re shut down by your parent or some other authority figure, because that was the law. No voice. Just compliance. What a toxic trap to fall into and get comfortable with.
Today, there are so many of my opinions and views I keep to myself especially around family, but I challenge myself to be more outspoken around friends and on my art platform of course because it’s out of my comfort zone not just to speak up, but to also be heard. What words I know would fall on deaf ears in my family or in other social circles I save to scream through a poem, song, essay, research article, digital painting, and more. Being so determined to be heard is so out of my comfort zone, as well as listening to others who resonate on the same mental and emotional wavelength as me. The more I’ve done this, the less I’m worried about being “found out” by the family or whoever else has nothing better to do than be judgmental of my non-conforming essence. Leaving the toxic comfort zone I grew up in has made it easier to breathe.
As an American witnessing many different viewpoints and influences rise in this country, revolutionary and otherwise, it’s now more important than ever to know where you stand, not necessarily to feed into the “us vs. them” dynamic, but to establish a sense of self as many different types of influences try to wash over us like a tidal wave. Stand tall in your truth and live it.
Have a good one.
Producing my cover of “Sleep” by MCR is going well. I wanted to share the videos I found that have inspired what kind of tone I’m planning for the song, but I’m going to start with Dade Brayant, a pianist cover artist who covers some our favorite emo, punk, metal, and rock bands from the […]
So, I’ve had a lot of projects in the past that are still in motion: a novel series, a short story series, poetry collections, self-portraiture, and music (cover songs and original music). But I have to be real with myself. I have to face the fact that it has been so difficult getting content out […]
First off, hope you all had a splendid holiday season. During the break I rested for the most part and then got into studying necromancy and veneficium (the poison path), which have been personal practices for my craft and research material for my novel series. Disclaimer: The following is not medical or psychological advice. I’m […]