It’s been a rough week, but I know many of us are feeling the worldwide tension waxing and waning everyday. I think many of the tensions stem from realization. The coronavirus itself shined a light on how well or how horribly our governing bodies take our welfare seriously. In addition to that, we’re reevaluating our relationships with others for the sake of sustaining our moral compass. We’re being bombarded with truth bombs. It’s a lot. Shattering even. I have artistic outlets that helped me cope with what’s going on, but now I’m becoming less concerned about coping and more focused on increasing my awareness and mindfulness.
This whole “my life is a lie” mentality has me thinking about how to pursue living a truthful life more aggressively. From the external sense, that comes down to educating ourselves, thinking more critically about cultures worldwide, and accepting what we do and don’t have control over. Many people have already taken steps towards that mindset, which is great. From the internal sense, addressing how life has lied to us is really bothering me and I think that’s because it makes me more aware of how powerless I was swimming in the lies and believing it was the truth. This is the kind of crap that fuels my trust issues and my raging sense of justice, but again, this internal exploration requires a greater understanding and accountability of the self, not for rage and fear to takeover.
I’ve learned many new things about myself this week alone, things that I never bothered to work through until it surfaced up during this emotional week. I love reflecting through divination, meditation, and the arts. Now I’m pushing myself to be more transparent with resources founded in psychological, historical, and scientific studies because that’s how I’ll best understand my mindset and my behaviors. I believe studying topics like the power of cultural influence, types of parenting, the habit of stereotyping or generalizing labeled groups, and historical power shifts with greater seriousness and then integrating those studies with a more personalized, yet open perspective will help us ground ourselves. There’s a kind of contagious obsession with associations, status, and reputation that’s falsifying our inner truths and discouraging us from authenticity. Personally, I feel like growing in a westernized society detached me from the concept of allowing myself to be nurtured as a human. Instead I feel sculpted and groomed to be a complacent member of a labeled group in an apathetic society and culture.
I feel like my life is a lie because the whole definition of being human and simply being was presented to me with the intent to control me. I don’t make that statement out of fear or paranoia, but out of acceptance. I want to be part of the flow of progression, encouraging the prioritization of people and planet. To be clear, I’m not going into save the world or save humanity mode because I’ve also accepted that there are people who thrive from the way society is now and they will make conscious choices to maintain their privileges. It would be self-destructive and toxic to continue to fight those people as it compromises my own welfare.
If you feel like your life has been a lie and these realizations about what’s around you and what’s within you is forcing you to evolve, don’t resist the progression. Chose mindfulness. Strive for more fulfilling moments. We can’t be lukewarm or apathetic about our life choices anymore.