Studying Karma – [Just Me]

Karma is more about understanding your habits and inner truth than it is fearing the consequences of every action. We catch ourselves doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, and then being disappointment. Understanding ourselves helps us ween off the subconscious need for codependency and reinforce the beneficial truth of interdependency.

For me, I have the habit of using defensiveness as a guard against being abandoned, rejected, and exploited because it has happened many times in this life and my past ones. However, that desire to guard is a codependent mechanism in itself. I defined myself by the approval and disapproval of others rather than be my true self and let those who come and go do as such. I think even as a writer, putting out my work and having to wait for approval or disapproval still gets to me, but that fear is only temporary. My karmic tarot reading echoed that today. When you’re under the rule of authoritarian guardians or an oppressive culture, questioning your own worth comes naturally, I think. So it feels very foreign to just be. It feels almost “illegal” to be who you are.

There’s a karmic pattern the oppressors need to recognize as well, but that’s not my responsibility. I need to focus on just being me, even if I express some things that will make the oppressive, authoritarian types lose their s**t. Not gonna lie, that’s certainly the motivation between “Autonomy Bleeds Black”.

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