Can I Just Be Transparent For A Moment?

Creative projects like cover songs, writing my novel, or painting digitally or traditionally helps me with so many issues I have. Even blogging is becoming a beautiful outlet for me. I need to praise this because my social anxiety makes it damn near impossible to talk to anyone. I will talk with close friends, but those brief talks aren’t enough. There are greater depths in my psyche, the place where my internal screams echo eternally. Excuse the melodramatics, but that’s seriously what it’s like. I imagine it’s like that for many of us, but holy crap there are certain facets of my mind that only art and witchcraft can really tap into. Actually, witchcraft is another artistic vent for me. It is a craft after all.

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Any artistic vent is so empowering. I’m just gushing with gratefulness right now because many of us have this horrible, nasty habit of expecting the people who cross our paths to engage with our internal chaos and bring order, but how the hell can they when they have their own chaos to conquer, let alone their own lives? It’s so tough being told you’re not alone and that support is around you, but when reality hits, you have to face your chaos alone. The support may or may not be absent because it’s up to you to face it. GAH! Change! Change triggers my chaos and it’s so thrilling. I freaking posted this on Instagram today and this whole day I’ve been trying to take my own advice.

So perhaps what I’m struggling with, what’s fueling the chaos, is letting go of all this brain training that convinces me that change is something to fear and be intimidated by and if you’re not ready for what’s to come it is utterly and completely your fault. Nope. There’s nothing and no one to blame. Change is a powerful, constant force, but so am I. I need to chose to use my power, adapt, grow, transform, etc. and, simultaneously, learn to surrender.

Okay. Had to get that out. Thanks for reading. Learn tarot. It’s great.

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