Dropping Old Perspectives – Hatred

Hate love.
Love hate.

This was once an old mantra of mine during my emo-tastic teenage years. It came about from heartache and trying to process why some people liked you and some people didn’t or why some people stayed and some people gladly left. It was incredibly hard for me to find my tribe when I was younger and the loneliness warped my view on the purpose of relationships. It’s still hard to find my tribe now, but I’m grateful for who I have in my social circle today. Without the experience of exploring your similarities and differences with others, you’ll have a more difficult time understanding yourself. The world is a mirror. Love and hatred are also mirrors. There were many I hated because I loved them so much and my love for hatred fueled me to get through many events. It was the fire that kept me warm when no one else would. Looking back at it now, it’s a poor justification for resentment, but it was also one of the few coping mechanisms I had. It’s no wonder I take a liking to the revenge story. Self-destructive, bittersweet, but still satisfying in some way (nerd confession: this is why Anakin/Darth Vader was one of my favorite characters back then and why Episode Three is still enjoyable).

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However, the old mantra has more cons than pros now that I’ve grown. Sometimes rage still seems like the best defense against the untrustworthy, but there are healthier ways to set boundaries. I’ll leave my vengeful pleasures for my art to enjoy.

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